Little Zed

I'm back.

2010-09-24T13:45:00.000-04:00

Girls,
You can count on your mother for really bad record keeping. The last post was last year.And believe me there's a LOT that has happened in this time. Winter storms, Walt Disney World trip, Disneyland trip, Anish's tantrums, Ballet recital, major politics at the school kids go to, play dates galore, guests galore and just more galore. You can be rest assured that I won't be as regular as I used to be in writing about your antics.

Anyway, Here's an earnest effort on my part to put some thing down for posterity. Maybe when you grow up, have your own kids, you'll be either thankful for the blog or calling us to shut the damn thing down.

Nana and Nani are visiting us and perhaps this is the last time they'll come to the States. At their age, 78 and 84, I don't think they should make the arduous journey to the US anymore. So it's up to us to go to India. Which means, We'll have to make more money to pay for the darned trips AND save for your college. Speaking of college, the funds that we've invested in for your college education suck big time. Pray that the stock market picks up and we see some green.

Anish is showing that she's a daddy's girl. Not only does she look like him, she adores him more than anything else in the world. But right now, she's focused on copying her big sis - Hallu. She hangs on to every word Hallu utters, copies her big sister openly and is not one bit scared of plagiary.

Hallu on the other hand is blossoming into a tween -- literally. She's into cool clothes, notices shoes and pins and buckles. Things that she had no eyes for just a year ago. She's loves to dance on popular music. And man, can she move?! And she can sing too. Which reminds me, I have to enroll her into Piano class.

Anish on the other hand already knows how to dance. She can sing too but cannot say "L". It almost sounds like "e". So it's "ee" for Lee. "Kayee" for Kelli. But she's articulating herself very well. She can communicate herself very well and better than some other 3 year olds. She's completely potty trained.I'm very proud of her.

Hallu goes to the big school.. She's the kindergarten class of 2023.
WOW!
I'm working with her on reading. Still ways to go on that but we're making big progress. Her teacher doesn't want me to push her . She says she'll do it when she's ready. She says she's completed all KG tasks required of her.

Her 5th Birthday

2010-01-07T14:28:00.002-05:00

It's been five years since I've been a mommy. We just celebrated Hallu's birthday! She was so excited to be five that she practically told the entire world that she's five. Every stranger at the grocery store knew about it. Some were excited for her while some nodded with feigned happiness. The school teachers practically turned deaf hearing that she was five.

We celebrated her birthday at Little Gym. I fell in love with that place having been to a party a couple months ago. It was clean , spacious and their gym equipment looked safe. Hallu wanted to go there as well. During the party, she ran around the place so much that she was completely flushed. She barely ate a bite of pizza and didn't even touch the cake. But the icing was gone. All the children, and I mean ALL of them ate the icing but left the cake for their parents to finish!
She wanted a Barbie cake and she got one. It was more for her bragging rights than anything else!

Anish was just as excited as her sister. She ran around saying and doing exactly what Hallu was doing. She's been imitating her in just about everything to our pleasure and her sister's displeasure. " Why does she do the same things I'm doing. I don't like it. She copies me all the time".

By the way, Hallu will sometimes feed her little sister. She's take the food in the fork or spoon and say, " here comes the Choo-Choo train". Anish opens her mouth wide and takes it all in.
So at the party, they swung from the bars, did cartwheels and somersaults and general running around. Daddy got them both lovely dresses. Hallu wore a black dress with red polka dots and Anish a black frock with white dots. Both looked lovely.

A rambunctious group of 18 kids, all very well-behaved I might add.

Waterworks

2009-09-25T12:09:00.002-04:00

Hallu has never seen me crying. On the other hand.. the elderly relative in the house will shed tears at the drop of a hat. So she told me one day, " Mom, I've never seen you cry".
To which I said," Beta, sometimes I cry too".
That brings us to this post!

I had one of her friends come over for a playdate after her ballet class. The two girls were chatting in the car when Hallu told her, "My mother yells at me all the time". Ofcourse, I was mortified and really hurt. I let them discuss, pretending that I didn't hear them. Her friend said," my mom is really good, she never yells at me." Hallu again repeated," my mom yells at me all the time". Oof! That really hurt. And hurt bad. I immidiately started thinking about my behavior. Do I yell at her a lot? In her defense, I do yell at her sometimes and I know the other girl's mom yells too. So where did I go wrong? Am I not showing her that I love her? Am I being cold? Or do I simply yell too much? Almost involuntarily, I started to cry as I was driving. They moved on to next topic as I changed lanes!

That evening, I told my husband about the incident as the girls splashed in the tub. I started to cry. I left the bathroom.. my husband reassuring me that the girls love me a lot!

But I had to talk to my daughter to find out what I was doing wrong. And worse, was my yelling really bothering her?

That night as I was putting her to bed, I brought it up. I told her I heard them talk about it in the car. She looked up at me as tears welled up in my eyes. Hallu, seeing the tears, hugged me tightly and stated bawling hysterically. My husband came running into the room and saw us both hugging and crying. His expression -- WTF?

He hugged us both and we cried in a group hug for a few moments. Then I told her, "I'm sorry if I yell at you too much but sometimes when you don't listen to me, I get a little bit upset and then I yell at you." She said," I meant to tell R that my mom yells only sometimes... not all the times." I said, " Yes sweetie, it's okay. I love you very much".

Then she said," I'm sorry I hurt your feelings." That was over the top for me. The floodgate of restrained tears opened up, turning on the waterworks, cascade after cascade! My husband left the room in disgust and amusement over the girl talk.

Mother and Daughter hugged one another for a while. We bonded. We understood each other better. I knew her feelings and she had seen me cry.

Then she told me," How come you don't cry like me.. you have tears but no sound?" I started to laugh! She laughed too!

Happy Birthday Anish

2009-09-04T08:21:00.004-04:00

Anish is two now. We're all smitten by her antics and her smarts.

She seems to be much more mature than Hallu at her age. And that's because she has an excellent role model in her big sis. I'm convinced of that. Case in point. She imitates her sister's language to the T. Like, "Xkimme ca I peas hawIT" (Excuse me, Can I please have it?). I would never been able to teach my little one to speak with such civility. And I know Hallu uses such language often so it has to be her. Anish is recalling "knock, knock jokes" She'll knock loudly on the door and say,"nop, nop, whoDere". You can imagine the reaction to people sitting around. She changes her clothes at the drop of her head! She can go through at least 4 to 5 pair of clothes and still be unclothed by the end of the day.

Her grandparents are godlike for her.. in part because she gets "persa or shakker" (prasad, mostly sugar crystals) when she's in their room. " Iwanna go to Ba, do jashikish" ( I want to go to grandma and do Jai Shree Krishna). She has a very uncanny way of getting your attention. She just yells ,"heeaaaalp". And loudly. Just about everyone rushes to her including Hallu. Of course, we've not realized that she's crying wolf. But to us her "heeaalp" never fails to get the desired attention.

Her true love is her sister, then daddy and then mommy in that order. She wakes up in the morning, first asking for her sister," where's Hawy", then," Daddy, Iwanna go daddy" and then she'll plant a sloppy one on my face screaming, "maaaaami, i wove you". At that mommy just wants to hold her for as long as she can. But the squirmy baby can't hold a hug for just a second.:-(
Her love for her sister is immense. And Hallu loves her even more. Sometimes when I get angry at Anish, Hallu tells me hastily, she was good." But, she was a good girl" she'll insist. Anish's love for her sister in demonstrated when we go to pick her up from school. On way to school, she will constantly ask me, "Hawy, Where's Hawy? Hawy skool?" When we get to the school, she'll get down and stand by the door and the very sight of her through the glass door will make her all excited and impatient. Once out, Anish will immediately want to hold "Hawy's" hands. "Hole hans, hole hans, HOLE HANS", she screams.

Lately, she's imitating me... One day she surprised me by saying, "oo magad, wa happen" (oh my god! What happened?) I burst out laughing and she did too. Then kept repeating it over and over again. Of course I had no video camera!

But don't get the slightest idea that sibling rivalry is nonexistent in our house. It's very much there. Anish will not hesitate to scratch Hallu's face when she doesn't get her way. We've taught Hallu to her her hand, palms facing outwards and say stop. So far it's working.

It's always tricky trying to explain to a four and a half year old why a two year old won't listen and doesn't understand. We've been telling Hallu that Anish doesn't understand things because she's a "toddler" ( it's how they refer to young children in their school). That when she was a "toddler" she had a hard time understanding things. Hallu has accepted that explanation.
But I always make Anish hug Hallu every time, every time she hits Hallu. No matter what. Since Anish won't understand what sorry means, we encourage her to make Hallu feel better by hugging her.

The hugging has prompted a flurry of cute endearments in my kids. Anish wins hands down on this one... "Mwaah" is when she give a flying kiss. She also plants sloppy wet kisses on our faces. She's a daddy's girl and the moment she see her dad through the door, she'll do a little dance and then rush to him and give him a sloppy "mwaah"

She can sing the entire songs. Sometimes we don't dare ask her to sing because if she starts, she won't stop singing. Barney's "I love you" is her favorite. Meanwhile Hallu can sing entire Wiggles or Doodlebops songs. Husband is thinking of getting her a Karaoke machine. I have to say, she can hold a tune! And this is not just mommy love speaking.

Anish is two now.. Sometimes I want her to be just that way and sometimes I really can't wait for her to grow up...Either way, I know it's unavoidable. She is going to grow up and she's going to take her time doing that.

At times, at night when both kids are asleep. I thank the good Lord above to keeping and eye on us as I lightly press the kids' tired feet!

Everyone needs a little push now and then...

2009-08-27T11:52:00.005-04:00

I was speaking to a friend a couple days ago and he told me a story from his childhood.
His parents came from China and didn't speak much English. He was born here in the U.S. He recalled a tale from his childhood where had to recite the multiplication tables from 1 to 10, correctly. And if he didn't, he'd get no food. He said he was traumatized by that experience and would never ever do such a thing to his three boys. He then said he had no regrets/complaints against his parents. He loves them every bit as much as he would've ever loved even though some of their practices were questionable. He said they did what they knew best.

Parenting is really an imperfect science. You learn as you go. Something you think is good now may actually turn out to haunt your kids later.

Conversely, I felt my parents didn't push me enough... I had a pretty much free rein on what I wanted to do in life. They didn't *make me* study. By that I mean, sit down with me and spend hours on my studies like some of the other parents were doing with their kids. They encouraged me to speak up and loved me even if I made mistakes. I was the last among four and I guess they knew that kids turn out fine, even when left to themselves. ( I think I turned out OK).

But I wish they were a bit more involved in my life. I wish they had nudged me when they thought it might be a good opportunity to showcase my talents. At a meeting with the great Kalyanji Anandji, I was asked to sing and I refused to do so. My parent's didn't care either way. I wish they had coached me a bit about what an opportunity that could've/would've been. I don't regret that I didn't become a serious singer. I know, for a fact, that I would've been miserable as a playback singer. (Frankly, I don't think I'm that good). But I do wonder about what might have been had I belted my cords and had the duo liked what I had to offer.

I wish they had forced me to continue my dance training or forced me to learn a new language or continue skating or shown me the wisdom of learning and trying out new things.

I wish they had taken more interest in helping me with my Master's program. I wish I had more counselling and guidance about what to expect from school.

The one thing I could always count on was their support --- 100 percent in everything I did, right or wrong.

Bottom line,
Hindsight is 20/20.

Looking back I wish they pushed me. I really have no handle on the circumstances they were in during my growing years. Maybe there were other pressing events that took precedence. Maybe they pushed me the best they knew how. Maybe they did try their best to do what they thought was best for me. Maybe they did push me to do new things with no success

In fact, I know they did.

So even in my flawed perception of what they did and didn't do for me, I love my parents to death and I'm forever grateful to them for what they did for us.

Just like my friend, who felt traumatized by his parent's aggressiveness.

Mojo

2009-08-20T13:04:00.002-04:00

I've lost my Mojo. I've lost the will to write. I'm having a writer's block. Whatever.

I have a head full of posts but no motivation to pen them, or rather type them out. I've tried in earnest but left many unfinished drafts sitting there.

Why have I lost it?
I'm not sure but I think it could be because I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy left to do anything these days. Caring for two kids, driving them around for their activities, keeping a running household and working are partly to blame. But I'm really beginning to wonder if my body is saying something to me. I'm not growing young and with no time to exercise. I think that's partly to blame. I've been asked by people to be "selfish", leave the kids with someone and go for a swim or a jog. It would help if those"selfish" people would come and look after my kids while I become "selfish". I don't like that word. I cannot be selfish when it comes to my family. And NEVER for my kids, no matter what!

Anyhow, Bottom line, I need to get some exercise, get blood in my veins and my Mojo back!

Meanwhile I have to say, Little One now speaks in full sentences, such as "daddy, wook and me!" Or "Xkimme ( excuse me) , Can I have cheeps(chips)" and then once she gets what she wants, she'll say, "thanks!"

Gudiya on the other hand is an Angel. She is very well behaved and ever so helpful. She loves her sister and will do just about anything for her. She says her excuse mes and please whenever she has to. She finishes her meals ... Oh! I can go on and on... (((KALA TIKA, right here.)))

Having gushed about my girls, I have to say, they do have their moments. When Gudiya wants something, either I spend a half hour explaining why she can't have it or she'll drive you nuts till you give it to her.
Little One on the other hand is going through temper tantrums ... the kind I've never dealt with. She is also a VERY picky eater.

She turns 2 in a couple of weeks. I can't believe how time flies!

Busy Bee

2009-05-28T09:39:00.004-04:00

Yup, that's me!

With Gudiya, it was so easy that we decided to have another baby. And have to say , there are days I'm swamped and often second guessing our decision. We had a few illnesses in the house. The kids, husband, MIL and me -all of us had the bug. A lot of stress related to health and the temper tantrums of a 2 year old. Little One turns two in a couple of months and we think the terrible twos set in quicker in her case. BTW, she's already wearing 3T and is three quarters Gudiya's size.
She speaks a lot too. She will tell you a story with, "Once upon a time there was a boy" and then it's "The End".
She can communicate everything very, very well. "Water, I want water" and then she'll point to the yellow cup saying,"ye-wow". Everything starts with,"I want..." She clearly says when she wants to sleep. "I tired, I want Kos (pacifier)". We are very proud of her.
I just need some strength and energy to deal with her tantrums.
Our next challenge, getting rid of the pacifier which she takes only during nap times. And then to potty training. But that will have to wait till I'm a little less stressed.

The undersea world

2009-05-21T10:12:00.003-04:00

Gudiya's flavor of the month is Ariel Mermaid. She's her hero. Gudiya wants to have a flipper like her, She wants to be the mermaid and swim in, as she puts it, "the undersea world". She gets these once in a while. There was a time, she was into Barney, then it was Wiggles, then the Doodle bops, Sleeping beauty, Little Einsteins, Blue's Clues, Imagination Movers etc. etc. Now it's the mermaid! She wants to be her, red hair and all. Which brings me to an embarrassing picture she drew of her favorite idol.

It was a stick figurine, complete with a coconut bra, flippers and fins! She draws one picture of her practically EVERYDAY! In one picture she drew something that looked like a crooked square down below. Aghast, I gently asked her what it was, starting at the top, with the flower in the hair, and making my way down. She said it was the mermaid's underwear, like the one kids wear on the beach. She showed me one in a children's clothing catalogue. A two piece swim suit!!! I laughed and told her the shape of the underwear is triangle. To which she burst out laughing at her own folly. "And I drew a square, hahaha! That's pretty funny".

Phew!!

You know, being a mermaid wouldn't be such a bad idea after all, she would have more "undersea world" to explore than perhaps the land!

Will post her artwork soon.

Swingset

2009-05-14T12:56:00.001-04:00

So we got a new swing set in the backyard. The men dropped the equipment on Saturday. They came the next day, bright and early to install it. It was drizzling. As they put it together, which they did in less than 4 hours, it started to pour. In any case, the hardy men put it up.
The kids were like little puppies.. staring out of the window to see all the activity. Eventually I put up their little chairs by the window. They had their breakfast right there. They were so excited.

What would've taken us a couple of days to put up, the men did it in just a few hours for $300 bucks. I say the money was well spent. Unfortunately, it rained that entire week. For the kids it was like putting them in front of a giant ice cream with beautiful sprinkles but not letting them touch it. I tried to take them whenever there was let up in the rain but the ground was too soggy to really have fun. I was worried about the kids slipping on the ladder to the slide and the slide, well suffice it to say, it was wet and had to be wiped down with a beach towel.

Here's hoping for the good weather.

Kindle can't say Barack Obama, so what?

2009-05-08T14:28:00.000-04:00

What's the big deal? Why such a hoo ha about Amazon's Kindle pronouncing Barack Obama's name wrong? My Indian name has been pronounced wrong ever since I stepped into the country. Do you see me complaining?

Structured V. Unstructured program

2009-04-30T00:31:00.003-04:00

A lot of debate ensued with a friend of mine who's a big advocate of structured program at the school. I'm a huge proponent of unstructured program at least till 5 years. The difference is in our attitude towards it. My friend thinks her way is the high way and I follow live and let live principle. So every time she visits us, she sings praises of the school her son goes to, ad nauseam. To the point that my husband AND her husband walk away. In fact her husband often tells mine that the school should hire his wife as a spokesperson for the school her son goes to.

Gudiya goes to a Montessori school. I like their program. They introduce just about everything to them, letters, numbers, reading, writing, math, geography etc. But it is all child driven. The child will pick up the work they're interested in. If the child picks up practical life, they're building concentration and order. If they pick up sensorial, they're learning concepts in math and geography. The teachers really work hard to make all the instructional materials interesting. I know Gudiya has all the concepts in her head and I am confident that she'll use them when she's ready. She does not read yet and I don't force her either. She recognizes all letters and numbers. She writes her name. She can etch out alphabets or numbers from memory but she doesn't read. And I know she'll be ready to read soon. I just have to have patience. And I'm not worried at all.

I believe the children should get a "little" bored. Before I hear outrage, let me explain what I mean. They should have time to sit around idly looking outside the window or just looking at the fan and so on. The staring at the fan thing is to relax their minds. I don't believe in sitting them in front of the TV ( although I can't imagine my life without it and my kids DO watch TV). I also don't want them to be completely lazy. I do keep them gainfully occupied by taking them outside in warm weather and playing toys, games, cards, pretend play when inside the house. For the first time in her 4 and a half years of life, she'll go to swimming class this summer and ballet class in September. The Little One is not going to school but she's able to recognize 10 alphabets already. And trust me when I say this... we didn't teach her. She learnt those from her sister. And like I said, I believe in child-driven activities. That empowers them. They feel like they're in control. We didn't know Gudiya could write letters from memory until one day she just did it. We were stunned to say the least. And she felt incredibly proud of that. I had goose bumps. .

My friend sends her child to soccer, hockey, swimming, kumaon, a very structured, catholic school ( which is very good BTW). He just turned 5 and will be in kindergarten this September. Gudiya will spend one more year at Montessori and then goes to kindergarten in Montessori itself and 1st grade in public school.

I honestly don't know if this is the right approach but I'm at peace with my decision. I also know that my kids are normal and performing all age appropriate behavior.

My friend's insistence at structured program is sometimes annoying which is why I don't understand why she's enrolled her little 3 year old in Montessori. Go figure!

Of Judging

2009-04-23T10:35:00.003-04:00

I get judged 24x7 because I live with my in-laws. It is something I am used to. Fortunately, I'm one of those people who tend to forget what people say to me quite easily. Yeah I'm hollow in my head so the air rushes past from one ear to the other. The doesn't mean that I'm dense in the head. I have grey matter in there and I do feel. I do hurt . I may not show it but it does hurt.

On a recent trip to Disney. I felt I was being judged by one particular mother who had a 18 month old girl. I was standing at the bus stop for the bus to Magic Kingdom with Gudiya and Little One. Husband was away at the conference. The bus was very late. A bus that takes 10 mins to took almost 45 mins to come. Gudiya was a very good child and followed my instructions very, very well. The Little One had no patience after 20 mins of waiting. She wanted to run around. And because it was a bus stop I couldn't let her do that. So she threw a tantrum... a bad one. There was nothing I could do but to hold her and hug her and console her in the best way I could. Now, this lady, who had a very well behaved 18 month old sitting in the stroller, was staring at us. The expression on her face - that of anger ( as if I was torturing my children) and pity! I could feel the bile coming up my throat because I did not like the way she stared at my kids. In my defense, I didn't know what I could've done. I gave the Little One food, drink, lollipop, pacifier, change of diaper ... everything. The problem was that Little One wanted to run around and I could not let her because it was unsafe. I didn't have the stroller because we were going to rent the stroller at the park.

Finally the bus came and we went in. The Little One was quite and a very well- behaved child.

We bumped into them the next day at the hotel playground. The Little One was climbing up and down the slide. Climbing the steps, going down the slide, going up the slide the wrong way and coming down. She was having a blast and was doing it all with very little help from me. Meanwhile the lady's 18 month old would not even climb up the steps to get to the slide. Her dad went up with her and came down on the slide with the baby. It was terribly uncomfortable for them. After that, they all stood around watching my two girls going up and down and about.
Finally, the lady asked me, how old are your girls, I said 4 years and 18 months. I could see her jaw drop. Then she said," wow, the little one is pretty independent". I couldn't resist. I said,"yeah, she's very independent and a very good girl". The family watched my girls for a while. I heard the lady tell her daughter a hundred times to go and play,"see how that girl is playing, she how she's climbing" pointing a my Little One. But the girl did not budge. Clearly, her mother was not too happy about it. I could see it really bothered her (to the point of getting angry at the child) that her child wasn't independent.

At the bus stop, she looked at me with pity ... almost blaming me for my child's behavior. Now, she couldn't figure out why her child wouldn't participate. I got my vengeance. The mother wanted her child to be perfect.

I get that we all judge. I'm guilty of judging too. Honestly, I don't believe judging can be that bad a thing. It's positive reinforcement. It something like self analysis. You look at some one's behavior or appearance and you gauge if it works for you or not. You take that judgment and see if you live up to your own standards or not.

But then it gets complex when you are a hypocrite. Hypocrites judge the most. They don't look at their own shortcomings or even analyze their behavior.

Disney

2009-04-03T14:33:00.004-04:00

The kids had fun at Walt Disney World ... at my expense. And I will scream on top of my lungs to anyone who will listen. DISNEY IS NOT FOR PARENTS WITH AN ACTIVE 18 MONTH OLD TODDLER. The kids had a good time but I spent most of my time running behind the Little One and bumping into people and strollers coming my way. Thankfully I was really good at dodge ball in school and I'm happy to say those reflexes are still sharp.

We were at WDW because husband had a conference to attend and he was being put up in one of the hotels in the park. That was the only reason I went. Did you, kind reader, really think I was brave enough to go to Disney, alone, with two kids?! But, I did go and I suffered. Actually it wasn't that bad. I just think bad experiences make for a good conversation. And I did have some fun. And had more fun watching my kids having fun!

It was Sunday when we got there. Spent the day at the hotel pool. Scouted out eateries for kids and did some legwork to find things to do around the hotel itself. We stayed at the Animal Kingdom Lodge and I have to say the place is fabooolous. They have a mini zoo on the premises. Giraffes, Bisons, Flamingos, Pelicans and many other animals and birds whose names I don't even remember now. The place had a ton of art and craft activities for kids through the day.

The test began on Monday when we went to Magic Kingdom in the morning from 9am to noon. The place the teaming with people. There were people EVERYWHERE. We went through what I would best describe as "mosh pit" to see parades. We also saw the "Dreams Come True" show. The Little One wanted to walk around in the crowd.. but Gudiya was enamoured at the dancing princesses and Mickey and gang.

Next stop carousel and then onto the Dumbo ride which Gudiya really, really wanted to do. The wait for that ride 1 hour, 45 mins. Fortunately we had one of those fast, really fast passes that helped us cut the line. We had to go through the wheelchair exit. And I could feel the daggers in my back from those parents standing in the serpentine line with children wailing and screaming as I cut the line and got on the front. But I had a fast pass guys. I could legally, morally and every-lly get in the front of the line. But I did feel terribly guilty. It could've been me, had I not gotton that fast pass.

Next stop, Ariel Mermaid in her grotto. Waited in line for 1hour--- no fast pass allowed there :-( . The kids played nearby in water fountains while I stood in line. Gudiya was speechless when she saw her, in her little coconut bra ( which is prominently pictured in Gudiya rendering of Mermaid pictures) and her flipper tail. Finally she said to the mermaid "Ariel mermaid is my favourite princess". The mermaid flipping her tail replied," you're my favourite too, starfish". The Little One could care less about the spectacle. She wanted to go outside and get wet in the fountains.

Speaking of fountains ...it was bleddy HOT! Especially considering we were freezing our buns in NJ and then we were in sunny, hot Florida.

Just this was enough to make me tired. (Note to self: need to build stamina) We went back to the hotel after lunch for a nice siesta.I was hoping for a nice nap and I was pretty sure the kids would sleep too. But as you know, The Murphy's law, they didn't sleep a wink after that. We stayed at the hotel for the afternoon and went down to the pool in the evening. After husband came home, we went to Disney's Hollywood Studios that was open late that night just for Disney resort guests.

That visit was the most fulfilling because it was cooler and less crowded place. We went to Mickey's clubhouse party where we saw all the characters, Mickey, Minnie, Daisy, Goofy, Pluto, Jo Jo, "The Little Einstimes" - as the LIttle One calls them. Gudiya met and danced with everyone. We also watched a Little Mermaid show that had the most amazing puppets. It was a live show with the Mermaid, Prince and some other characters. But all the fishes were puppets. They even had mist, bubbles in the auditorium. It felt like we were under the sea.

Next day, I went down to the hotel playground and watched animals and birds. And when the Little One slept, Gudiya went for a dip in the pool. I sat on the poolside chairs, fully clothed, with jeans and all and ordered a drink. Gudiya made her first ever wish to God. As she was playing in the pool, she ran up to me and said," I asked bagvan, please teach me swimming". I made a mental note to send her swimming this summer!

The visit to the park that afternoon was all right. As usual, I ran behind the Little One, taking Gudiya everywhere I went. I have to say, Gudiya was immensely patient. She didn't complain when she ended up chasing Little One with me everywhere. Once daddy came to the park that evening, she was able to really enjoy the park. We saw the parade at night. It did not go well with The Little One. She cried through the whole thing because it was dark and loud. I walked around the park with her but there was no escaping. The parade apparently went all around the park.

We left WDW with the promise that we'll come back when the kids are a bit older. I was glad to go home. The kids behaved really well on the plane. I've learnt that lollipops on the plane really works well with my kids. It helps with the ears and strangely calms them down enough to sleep. Both slept through the 3 hour plane ride. I made a mental note to go back to Disney when the Little One is 5!

Who do you trust?

2009-03-23T09:48:00.003-04:00

I have to say, I worry about my kids all the time. Sandra Cantu's story really bothers me in more ways than one. The alleged murderer was Sandra's friend's mother. The 8- year-old girl was allegedly raped, killed, put in a suitcase and dumped into a pond. I have trouble sleeping if this is the last thing I think about. And every time I think about it at night, I distract myself by constantly chanting the the Lord's name -- as if it will all vanish!

Who do you trust? Really no one. I have trouble leaving kids out of my sight. I don't leave them except for the 3 days I work. Which is when Gudiya goes to the school and Little One stays at home with her nanny and her grandma. The nanny brings Gudiya back from school at 3:30p. After that, they're in our sights practically at all times. If we go out to play, I'm standing on the sidelines pretending to be aloof lest they get conscious ... even if it is just our backyard. We never send them over to their friends place... their friends come home.

I know I have to let them go in this rotten world when they grow up. And I can't bear to do that. I don't know the reason. Maybe because I'm in the news business, such stories affect me more than others.

Illness

2009-03-19T10:05:00.002-04:00

Little One has Bronchiolitis, an ear infection and fever. And she's teething. She doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to drink, won't stay in my arms, won't stay in bed, won't stay on the floor, She won't play alone, she won't sleep or sit. She won't listen to music, won't quite down when I sing. She won't even watch TV.

She wants to go out but it's freezing. It's snowing and cold and windy.
The weather this year has been brutal, to say the least. It's been bone chilling cold, more snow storms than I can count and the lord above has mixed it up with some rain and wind. Meanwhile, my mother in Baroda is praying for some cooler weather there!

Little One isn't sleeping well either. Her chest is congested with stuff. Her breath send out a whistling sound. Did the nebulizer thing at the doc's office and suffice it to say, that stuff works wonders.. Instantly she was breathing better. I actually started to cry when I saw her taking calm, deep breaths. I haven't been sleeping well and nor has the husband. He's been getting up every time he hears her cry. We take turns rocking her. She's still not happy. She cries for at least 2 or 3 hours each night. And nothing we do makes her comfortable, nothing helps. Sometimes I feel like putting my head under the pillow and dying there. I end up crying too , not because I missed out on my beauty sleep but because I can't see my child suffering.

Illnesses are painful business to both kids and parents.

Doc has prescribed some antibiotics and medicine for her chest congestion. Tonight she slept well.

EDITED TO ADD:
Little One is feeling much better now. ( Kala Tika). MIL "nazar utar'oed". I think the medicine had more to do with her feeling better but hey....

Poo Poo the friend

2009-03-17T11:24:00.006-04:00

"My friend Poo Poo is very smart." We're talking about Gudiya's imaginary friend. And she's been at it for a while. I have fervently wished she'd change his name but alas! We're stuck with Poo Poo. He's 5 years old and sometimes He becomes She. He's very smart and has "super duper powers". He eats his own food, sleeps with her (!), plays with her and takes the blame whenever she does something wrong.
It's Poo Poo's birthday everyday and it's a very good excuse to eat "snacker" which is nothing but Fruit Gushers. She also wants to eat gum and is satisfied when I give her Starburst. ( yeah, we've trained her well).

first word

2009-03-15T22:06:00.004-04:00

Gudiya spelt her first word ....all by herself.

Doh - D
Oh - O
Arr- R
Eh- A

DORA. Then she spelt HAT and that's the extent of her spellings. She can write and spell her name. Me thinks that's more from rote than concept.

Very proud of her.

clutterbug

2009-03-13T10:47:00.004-04:00

Gudiya has a strange habit. And I'd love to know if any of you dear readers have noticed it with your kids. She puts small things, toys, pins, papers, clips, crayons, pencils, chap stick, blocks and just about anything into small purses, bags, backpacks and such like. I really don't know why she does that. Every couple of weeks, we go through these and take out all the junk in them. And the next week she's back at it.
Is it inherent...as in our ancestors gathered and stored food. Or is it just her personality to collect junk. I hope it's the former.

What's in a name?

2009-03-12T09:47:00.006-04:00

Madmomma has written extensively about this.

I have 3 older sisters. 2 of them changed their last names after marriage. The third one and I retained our maiden names. For a while I also used my dad;s name as my middle name. In fact I changed my name just recently and removed my middle name completely (my dad's first name). So now my legal name is my first name and my maiden surname . I didn't take my husband's name. It didn't even occur to me that I should change my name after marriage. My husband never approached it either. Sometimes he teases me about it and orders me ( in a very filmy, dramatic way) to change my name because I'm a married woman etc. All this with a smile and his hands ready to counter my blows:-)

So that's how much we discuss last names in our house. And maybe because it wasn't a big deal in my house, it's hard to understand the big hue and cry over this. However, I do realize that there is an expectation that women change their names after marriage. In fact one funny incident I'd like to mention is about my husband's classmate from school who invited him on Facebook. My husband messaged her back saying who the heck are you? She was offended that he didn't recognize her picture but failed to mention that she had not only changed her last name, but also her first name after marriage.

I have two simple rules that I apply on pretty much everything in my life.

Choose your battles
The name changing issues is not limited to any one culture. It's prevalent in every culture. Even here in the States, people who've been living here for ages expect their wives to change their names after marriage. I know a lot of my American friends who were asked by their husbands to change their name. So this is across cultures. A funny example of a colleague whose ex-wife married 4 times. She changed her name (voluntarily) 4 times, changed it back to her maiden name every time she got divorced. Had 6 kids between 4 marriages. All have different names.. Now, that's an extreme case. But changing or not changing your name after marriage is and individual choice. If you feel strongly about it then fight for it. Don't complain about it later. Bear the consequences of that fight. But it will worth the fight if that's what you really want. If you're ambivalent to the idea, then compromise. The fact of the matter is we live in a patriarchal society. And women have to be smart to work around it. It will take generations to change things. Maybe when my daughters get married, no one will expect them to change their names. Some women change their names after marriage because they really want to. A woman colleague at work was shocked and a little disappointed with me when I told her I use my maiden name. She's much younger than I am and asked me if it was a norm in India.

I get invitations that say "Mr. and Mrs. C and family". That doesn't bother me . It doesn't matter what others call me. What's in a name after all. They invited me and that's an honor. At least that's how I look at it. I don't correct anyone who calls me "Mrs. C" and my husband doesn't correct anyone who calls him "Mr. Zed". I don't go around announcing to people, specially those who I know would give me a hard time about name change . I wear my maiden name quietly. I don't want to change the society. I don't want to fight with someone who will never understand my reasons for not changing my name. But I do think I will change the society through my daughters.

Keep it simple
Our kids have their father's name. That's because that's how it's been for years and years and years. And like I said, I choose my battles. I'm not sure if husband would have been offended had I given them my last name. I never asked him. He never asked me. And I don't mind the kids having their dad's name. I have my dad's name and I'm OK with it. I don't want to complicate my life and theirs by explaining to everyone why they're given my name and not their fathers. But Gudiya knows my full name as it appears in my passport and will tell anyone what it is if asked. And she's aware that it's different. But she thinks of it as a name and nothing more than that.

Bottom line, live and let live. Do what's right for you and don't show disdain for those who don't agree with you. If something bothers you too much, talk about it with your family. If your beliefs cause a lot of conflict in your lives, examine it. Decide what is important to you and spell it out clearly.

Edited to add: I do believe that official/legal forms and other documents MUST and SHOULD have the provision for someone who would like to retain their maiden names. Also forms MUST and SHOULD ask for both mother's current legal name and father's name as well as mother's maiden name. Here in the U.S the credit cards company ask everyone for their mother's maiden name as an identification which I think is awesome.

Holi hai ... maybe not!

2009-03-11T09:07:00.006-04:00

I had to write about Holi.. my least favorite holiday. The reasons are simple.
I don't like to be manhandled.
I don't like people putting on oil paint and such like on me.

There was a time my friends used gulaal and water- that's it! Then with advent of nasty colors/paint and access to money, some of my friends started getting the bad variety of paint which came off only if you scrubbed it with gasoline ... yes petrol. That did a number on my skin to say the least.

I hated being manhandled by people. My proposition was always simple. I would stand still , cross my arms and let them put whatever the hell they wanted on my face and hair-- no place else. Most of my friends obliged and left me alone for the rest of the day. Some of my other girlfriends, shrieked and shrilled and tried to run away. They were simply held back by the boys and drenched over and over again with water and color. Then, these girls would proceed to wash the color off and the boys would simply put more on. Secretly, I felt that they both enjoyed this while I looked on in disgust. Now mind you, these boys were good friends. They did NOT do anything inappropriate or vulgar. They were our friends. But even so, I felt mishandled when anyone put color on me by force.

After this we would then sit on bikes and go around the town to other friends places to play Holi. Groups of drunk young men at traffic lights would seize the opportunity to manhandle the women sitting behind on the bikes. I hated that part. My boyfriends tried their best to protect us from such elements. Eventually, I stopped the getting out on Holi.

I really feel the essence of Holi is lost. Honestly, I don't know what it is anymore. It's become all about taking liberties and trying to touch women. Some do it in a very inappropriate way. Some in a very harmful way. My cousin broke her leg when someone pushed her into the swimming pool in India. The poor girl broke her foot, had to rushed to the hospital and the brute who pushed her didn't even have the audacity to say sorry. In fact, I hear he said" Holi Hai". How is this a good festival? Festival of color, my foot!

Because Holi day turned out to be such an unpleasant experience, I came up with another idea to celebrate it with friends . We started a tradition where all of us went out for dinner wearing traditional clothes, boys wearing kurta pajama, girls in sarees. We talked like civilized people, kepts our hands to ourselves, over dinner. That was fun.

I'm sure not everybody has these experiances. And while I was never inappropriately touched by anyone, I've seen many a women being manhandled on that day. And the fact that I couldn't do much about it made me hate the festival even more.

I guess it's not the fault of the festival itself. I know it's what man has made out of it. It's supposed to be a victory of "good" over "bad". But more often than not, it's become the festival hijacked by the "bad" in the society.

We don't play Holi here in the States and I don't miss it at all. But I will go to see the bonfire at the temple with the kids... in traditional clothes.

A million criticisms

2009-03-06T09:41:00.006-05:00

Quit critiquing Slumdog please!!!!!!!!

Leave out the elitist views about how and why the West only shows poverty in India. Maybe people in India are too desensitized to see it. Most people in India are poor and we've got to face it. According to BBC about 35% of people live on less than US$1 a day. And poverty is at its worst in rural areas. India is not all "Dil Chahta hai" where the heros drive around in BMWs. So stop criticising movies that talks about slums in India. If you have a problem of accuracy in it's portrayal of slums, realize this-- it's a freaking movie. Movies have a creative license to show whatever the heck they want to. Talking of portrayal of slums, have we not seen slums in India? Was the movie completely inaccurate in portraying communal violence, life in the slums, life of a ragpickers, begging children, kid prostitutes?

Someone said, the timeline in the movie was not accurate. Come on, if you want to talk about timeline and continuity ... I can point out many inaccuracies in movies everywhere.

Some are concerned about the image of India. Please, spare me the pretensions. India is india! It is part, "Dil Chahta hai" and part "Slumdog" and everything else in between. That's what makes India so fascinating. Lets just embrace the goods and the bads of our country.

Some said, Rehman has made better music. Sure he has. But everyone has different tastes. The Academy liked Jai ho not Vande mataram. Lets just move on and congratulate and be happy for what it is.

I like the movie, not because it won so many awards. I really liked the story, the plot, the screenplay, and most importantly - the hero gets money and the girl at the end. I like movies like that. :-)

Don't question whether or not Slumdog deserved an Oscar. It did! It was a movie that was to go straight to DVD and ended up winning 8 Oscars. That in itself says something about the movie.

So let's show some solidarity towards a movie that won an Indian so many honors. Even if you hate the film, you can't deny the hard work and the effort that went into it.

End of story.

It's a new word each day

2009-03-05T14:47:00.022-05:00

I love when they're 18 months old. The Little One speaks a new word everyday. It's so adorable that both husband and I are left speechless, smiling , our hearts are filled with bubbles.
Yesterday she said "papi" for puppy
Today she said " baby bach" for Baby Bop.

On her 18 month visit, the doctor asked me if she's speaking 15- 20 words and forming two word sentences. I said yes because I assumed that she spoke at least that many words since she's a chatterbox. But I began to wonder if she really does speak that many words... So here it is
"The list".

Mammi -- Mommy
Dahdee -- Daddy
Dihdi -- Didi
Haee -- Gudiya
Ba- Grandma
Dada - Grandpa
Wotah - Water
Kos- Pacifier ( don't ask me where she got that from )
Mik- Milk
Mor- More
Pees- Please
ank-ue - Thank you
Wok- Walk
Bannie- Barney
Seep- Sleep
Aawa - Sleep in gujarati
Buh-bie - bye, bye
Shus- Shoes
Sok- Socks
Ca, ca- Car, car
Nie Nie- bath time in gujarati
Nie- Nie- 'night, 'night in english ( and she knows the difference)
TV- TV
Ssik - Music
Chis- Cheese
NO- NO
Gut- Good
Aapo- give in gujarati
Nanna- My dad
Nanni- My mom
Masiee - My sister
Cose- Close
Wack- wack- Qwack, qwack
Dug- Dog
Pee- Pig
Hose- Horse

How- ue? - How are you?
I ou -ue? - I love you
oh-penn this? - Open this
appenn- what happened?
cose this - close this

I'm sure there are more but I think the list has more than 20 words. So my dear girl, you're all set to go till you're 2 years old. Then mama will have to come up with another list of words you can speak -- or maybe it'll be sentences then.

Time flies is such a cliche... but it's so darn true. I just took her 2 year appointment with the doctor. I can't believe she'll be 2!

India!

2009-02-26T11:21:00.002-05:00

So, we're back from India, back to the grind. And we're glad to be back to the grind.
Delhi was so much fun. The wedding was fun, being around mummy, papa was fun, showing off Gudiya was fun, shopping was fun ... everything was fun.

It was R's wedding and Gudiya and I were there to enjoy it. Little One and husband stayed back in the U.S and I'm glad I left them home. And the reason was a simple one -- to attend and enjoy the wedding. And if someone tells me that you can enjoy a wedding in another country with an 18 month old at your feet. I'm going to bite you!!!
I am convinced that it would have been difficult for both me and the Little One if she had come. And I'm very pleased with our decision for her to stay back with husband.
Having said that, I missed her a LOT and after I came back home, I felt I could never leave her again. Funny how things are never black or white when it comes to matters of heart!

I had a 14 hour plane ride to Delhi. My sisters and Gudiya and I were together. It was really unbearable on the plane on way to Delhi, coming back was another story. For, we were all so exhausted that we slept 7 out of 14 hours. Gudiya on both legs of the journey behaved better than I did. She didn't complain, or jump around or yell or shout or cry. She sat on her seat, played with toys I'd taken for her, read books I had for her, ate her meals and slept.
But she was mottled by mosquitos while in Delhi. The cowards bit her on her face and hands as she slept.

The wedding was wonderful. I met many relatives. Gudiya had a bit of the hard time dealing with the noise. She doesn't like loud noises. She did not like the baarat. We tried in vain to make her sit of the Ghodi. Eventually I gave up. But once at the wedding, she made friends and was seen running around with me running behind her everywhere.

Of course, what's a trip home without shopping. Although I didn't do much this time around since Gudiya was not comfortable staying home without me, I had to take her everywhere. That restricted my shopping a lot. Often times she slept in the car and had to be carried around as I shopped. Have you ever shopped with a 4 year old child sleeping in your arms!?!? Trust me, it's not fun. But I still managed to do a bit of shopping in spite of all this.

And yes, I also met the lovely Mad Momma and Brat and Beanie. I got to see her wonderful terrace garden and a wonderfully decorated home. She was everything I'd imagined her to be. Vivacious, pretty and a gracious host! And the kids, they were simply delectable. Beanie is sooo pretty and has the most beautiful eyes! Brat is a picture of innocence --- that is until he smiles :-)

I also saw a bit of TV. Was really surprised to see so many channels. I saw the kitschy Emosanal Atyachar song and thought it was brilliant! it was hilarious.The music, the song and it's picturization were perfectly kitschy! I loved all the songs of Delhi-6. My favorite being Genda Phool. As a child I used to visit my mausi at Chawdi Bazaar. I loved it right from the ride in the cycle rickshaw, smells, crowds, patli gallis, bun -chola, Jama Masjid in the background, kite flying on the chhat... Nostalgia overcame me as I watched Genda Phool and Masakkalli . Mausi doesn't live there anymore and it's sad because I really wished I could take Gudiya to Old Delhi.

There's always next trip!

India here we come!

2009-02-10T23:34:00.004-05:00

Exactly after two years. Little One was a just a cell. Gudiya was 2 years old. Now she's 4 and all grown and like a little lady. She can go pee pee on her own, eat on her own, drink milk from a cup. I'm really hoping I'll be able to socialize a bit this time around.
Little One and husband are going to be home. I'm going for what I call a drive-through wedding of my nephew. Going for just 12 days hence sans Little One and husband.
I'm going to miss them terribly but I'm really looking forward to the trip.
Trip home does good things to my soul.

Pitter- patter

2009-01-07T10:42:00.002-05:00

My little one runs and she runs as fast as her feet can carry her.

Pitter- patter.

Yes that's how it sounds. I now know the meaning of that word.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T22:23:00.003-05:00

It's a new year and I've decided to lose some weight ( like I do every new year) ! Check back on 12/31/09 to see the progress. I have a feeling it'll be the same....

Okay, lets be optimistic this year. I'll target to lose 20 pounds!

Good luck to me!

I want daddy

2008-12-30T22:52:00.020-05:00

Thank heavens... Gudiya is back to loving her dad again. Now she wants to do just about everything with him. She wants him to bathe her every day and weeps if I am doing the task. The reason being I wash her hair and daddy doesn't force her to do so. Resulting in hair not being washed for days!

The Little One is showing her possessive streak . No sooner does she sees Gudiya in my lap or even near me, she will come running and push her away and keep at it until she's achieved her goal. But when with their daddy they play alone/ together without bothering daddy. Daddy does his thing and kids peacefully do their own thing. Hence daddy gets a lot more work done than I do.

These days we're aggressively trying to put them to sleep by 9:30p. The evening is a busy time in our house. Their routine is as follows:

6:30p- 7:00 Kids eat dinner and one of us eat dinner ( very rarely eat together)

7:00- 8:00 up for a bath, if he takes them up, I finish the dishes and kitchen and if I take them, he does dishes. Both kids watch half hour of TV after their bath by which time I finish mopping floors etc.

8:00 eat fruit

8:30-9:15 play time

9:15p- 9:30 pee pee/ brush time
9:30-10p Kids sleep

11p- we sleep

We're trying really hard to follow this sked. Some days we succeed some days it falls apart.

Meanwhile Gudiya has figured out how to play us against each other. She gets 2 cookies after she's eaten fruit and if she doesn't then no cookie for her. On days she doesn't want to eat her fruit she'll complain to her daddy saying , "mama is not being nice to me, she's not giving me cookies".

It's just the beginning, just beginning!

It's holiday time!

2008-12-26T15:17:00.010-05:00

And Gudiya is off from school. And I'm running like a chicken without a head to figure out what to do with her. We got some board games as birthday gifts and I'm going to try in all earnestness to get her to sit down and play the game. Let's see how that's going to work. Meanwhile the Little One is everything Gudiya is not. She behaves like she's 4 years old already. She wants to do everything Gudiya does and she wants to do them first. If it's not her way then it's the bad way. And she'll let the entire household and neighborhood know about it.

The best part of it all -- husband is off too so it leaves two of us to deal with two kids! And sometimes that's not enough either :-D.

We went shopping for furniture for our basement. Yeah it's done and we're very happy with the results. The kids love to play there. Gudiya loves to sit on bar stools and drink her juice. Often time she'll take her juice downstairs and drink it at the bar.

The Little One who takes all her cues from her older sister wants to do the same. She watches Barney mostly and sometimes Imagination Movers ( Gudiya is into them right now) . But she know Dora and Diego and Wiggles because we have books about them. She calls Dora -- Doa, Wiggles- wiiga and Diego is Digo. She can recognize them all in a book.

We're enjoying the kids and each other -- you do the same!

'Tis the season...

2008-12-25T13:42:00.008-05:00

... to be merry and it sure is merry outside.

Other than the weather which has been giving us a big time chill pill the last few days, it's wonderful to be around in the city... NY city that is.

The Christmas tree is right outside the building where I work and it's a very pleasing sight every morning when I come in and every evening when I leave.

The entire city is ablaze with Christmas lights. The houses in our development have made yard decorating a competitive sport. But I don't mind it. In this doom and gloom environment, there's something to the said about these lights. They certainly cheer you up. I guess that's why almost all important holidays are in the winter when the cold chills you up outside and the cheer warms you up inside!!

Daddy's a boy

2008-12-19T12:00:00.003-05:00

We don't know what's up with Gudiya!
My husband is maha worried.
And it's because she just doesn't want to be with him.

My husband comes over, brows furrowed," we used to be buddies, what happened?" I didn't know what to tell him 'cause her behaviour baffles me too.

She doesn't want to play with him, eat with him or even won't let him put her to sleep. Her reason: Because daddy is a boy.

It shall pass dear husband, it will pass!

Gudiya's birthday celebration

2008-12-17T16:27:00.021-05:00

Gudiya's party was a BLAST! And her school celebration went really well. She happily distributed the allergen- free cupcakes I made (egg free, dairy free and nut free) to her classmates who've had plenty of such celebrations this month. She was acting a bit crazy and was waay too excited! The teacher had to tell her to sit still.

Before cupcakes were served, they did a little solar calender thing explaining what month she was born. They had a sun on the floor with a little candle in it and months arranged around the sun rays. Gudiya stood by the month of December with a globe in her hand and moved around the sun 4 times to signify 4 years of her life. I also had some of her baby pictures on a chart which the teacher shared with the class. Then she blew the candle and no it was not caught on camera. :-(

Finally, cupcakes were served. And that's all that really mattered to the kids!

I called some of her friends home right after school for play and snacks. They ran around the house loaded sugar. The Little One acted like she was one of them. Running behind them and trying to get ahead of them for everything. Just about EVERY toy in the house was on the floor!!! Every crayon, every block, every book. The house looked like it was just burglarized!

Finally when they left, we went out to Gudiya's favorite restaurant "Olive Garden". This is one place both my kids love. They eat in peace and let us eat in peace. I don't have to tell Gudiya even once to eat up. She sits there on her booster, one elbow on the table , hand up in the air, eating silently, deliberately chewing on every bite and savouring every morsel. Little one needs more attention but she's better with food at this restaurant then others.

The following weekend was her party at a party place. And what a day it was. Another kid from the school had her party in the afternoon and ours was in the evening. So needless to say, it was hectic. Husband stayed home with the Little One and I went to M's party. Coming back home, Gudiya fell asleep in the car. She had to be woken up an hour later. Meanwhile I forgot about the allergen- free cupcakes that I had to bake. Husband and I got into a huge fight on whether I should bake them or not. He said not to simply because we would never make it to the party place on time but I wanted to bake 'em. I prevailed. He went ahead in one car with Gudiya and I reached 10 mins late. When I got there, most of the kids had already arrived!

On second thought, I should've never baked them and here's why. Out of the 3 who were severely allergic, only 2 had them. The third kid didn't even touch it! And it was because his mother had asked him not to eat! Even though I explained to his mother over the phone earlier in the day about how I was baking and that kids at school had had them etc. etc. AND these people are Gudiya;s first cousin. So no trust issue there. I was a bit disappointed. I really wanted to make their day special too. At parties, I have often seen kids with allergies eat candy when everyone is eating cakes and I've always felt terrible about it. Here I was, going out of my way, really, had a blowout fight on my daughter's birthday to make these cupcakes and she instructed him not to eat them!!!

Oh well, I tried and at least the two other kids enjoyed it!

Gudiya was on a sugar- high the whole time. We had some friends come over after the party. The kids dumped all the toys back on the ground. My house looked like it was burglarized .. again. It still does cause I have no time to put back the toys! She's still hyper from those cakes and candy she's been consuming all week.

Words she says

2008-12-11T23:09:00.013-05:00

So the Little One has learnt a few words.

Hou ue. -- How are you?
Gut! -- Good
Banney- barney
I oou ue - I love you!
Pee pee- Pee pee
bash - Brush
Haat-- hot
Cole- Cold
Aann- water
Haoo- hello
Appy- Happy
Shhka- ( her name)
Hae ee- ( her sister)
Dih di- Didi

Gudiya is 4!

2008-12-11T23:09:00.008-05:00

She's blossoming into a personality of sorts. She speaks constantly and makes jokes that sometimes only she understands. She's more engaging than her last self where one would see her as a quite, pensive, observant child. She can strike up a conversation with just about anyone.

She can explain herself very well. She'll use the same tone as adults do in a conversation like, "Mom, you need to give me food, don't you know I'm hungry" Or "Little One stop it, you'll get hurt" or , "How many times have I told you, Little One, no pulling hair".

She changes friends everyday, " today my friend was A" or " today I played with F", "J is not my friend today". But when asked who she'd like to invite to her party, she rattled out names of just about everyone in her class. It was left to me to cut down her long guest list.

She's become a little girl now. After the trip to South Carolina to visit her cousins, one of them, a 9 year old girl is into hairstyles and makeup and dangling earrings. Well , guess who got into it too. Now, Mama is no role model considering I don't even put on a lipstick. So it was a novelty for her when she saw a lipstick and eye shadow and gloss etc. I was surprised how attracted to it she was. Gudiya wants the whole shebang. To top it all my sister-in-law gifted her a small make-up kit!!!!! And yes some dangling earrings.

She's going to the music class at school. That's the only class she's going to as compared to her peers who are going to at least 2 to 3 classes a week. And these are 4 year olds!! She comes home, drinks dudu while fiddling with the edge of her her favorite pillowcase ( which by the way, she uses to sleep as well) and plays a bit before dinner. The two days I'm home, my first and foremost task is to make sure she doesn't sleep. Cause if she does, then she won't sleep early at night. Her sleep time is 9:30p -10:00p. Sometimes I take help from the trusty TV. Which wakes her up pronto. No work there! And I take a breather while TV takes over. Not to get into the TV debate, but it's a life saver if you don't have much help around the house. It's the only way you can take a shower or eat your meals without worrying about your children running wild in the house and hurting themselves.

She's totally potty trained now. Wakes us up at night if she wants to go pee pee. Wipes, flushes and washes all by herself. She still does sleep on her magic carpet ( read the plastic protector, lined with fabric to protect the mattress) but rarely has spoiled it. She want "privacy" when she's going poo poo. She'll say "privacy please". I have to respect it even if its a public restroom.

Am taking some cupcakes to her school to celebrate her big day. She's wearing a nice sweater dress with tights, dangling earrings and fancy bobby pins. Made some egg free, dairy free and nut free cupcakes since a lot of kids have allergies. They taste pretty good I must say. Gudiya is very excited. She's finally realized that a birthday is an important day.

So Happy 4th birthday Gudiya!
I love you very, very much!

The First Sentence

2008-12-10T14:58:00.001-05:00

The Little One is much more vocal than Gudiya was. Partly because she has a good role model. Gudiya's speech is awesome. She speaks clearly, correctly and dares to use new and difficult words. Little One on the other hand, turns out, is more adventurous than anyone ever thought. She spoke her first sentence today. Upon seeing Gudiya perched on the toilet seat to finish of the morning routine, she chirped "Dihdi pee pee".

Day after election

2008-11-05T13:52:00.003-05:00

So we voted!! Actually I made the selections and she cast the vote by pressing the big red button that said "CAST YOUR VOTE HERE".
Upon asking her who she thinks will be President. She says very wisely," I dunno".
Here's hoping the best man wins!

Election Day

2008-11-04T17:39:00.002-05:00

I am consumed by this election. And that's because I really like both candidates. I really can't decide who to vote for and since this is the first time I'm voting in this country, I'm mulling over more than I should.

McCain was my man in 2000. I wanted him to win the primaries sooooo bad! I was devastated when he lost! I like him because he's truly independent in how he thinks. His immigration reform bill ( which I support ) was a perfect example of his bi-partisanship. He doesn't always side the party establishment. He's a centrist. He seems to have a mind of his own and that is what I admire.

Barack Obama wasn't my favorite until I heard him talk about how parents should turn off that TV , when he gave that speech on race, his convention speech. Yes, he can deliver some speech. And he's awesome at that. His speeches seemed logical. What he said made sense. No I don't think it any lipstick on the pig going on here. He seemed to be the real thing.

For me, the turning point was Sarah Palin. My admiration for her is immense. She is a good mom and a popular governor but not VP material. She seemed too far to the right for me. She seemed more like Nancy Pelosi on the left. I can't stand those who are far to the left or far to the right.
All those who think the world of Hugo Chavez are not on my favored list.

Obama seems like a centrist to me although he was a bit more on the left during the primaries for obvious reasons. He is toeing a more centrist line for the presidential election.

McCain on the other hand was more centrist during the primaries. He attracted independents. But for presidential elections he went too far on the right. What happened?

I still don't know and I still don't know who to vote for!!!

Meanwhile Gudiya wants Brrack Obama to win because he has more stars on the stage. While John McCain has stripes referring to the stars and stripes of the flag behind them.

Discipline

2008-10-29T09:58:00.000-04:00

Clearly, I'm the disciplinarian in the family. One stern look and the kids sober up. I've never had such a power in my life. I've never hit them and they've never cried when I discipline them but they just stop doing what they're doing when I call out their name in a hushed, rushed tone. I don't like it but it works very when I'm in a jam.

But when they do cry for any reason, they call for daddy. Daddy meanwhile has infinite patience. He can keep both kids engaged in a way that I have never been able to. The kids play quietly at his feet while he works on the computer or bills or anything. When I peek in, they'd be quietly playing with toys they barely touch with me around. When they're with me, I cannot seem to get anything done. They're always jumping on me when I'm trying to cook or clean. That's really not fair!

Pray for the jobs

2008-10-15T15:54:00.003-04:00

Gudiya was 3 years and 10 months and Little One was 13 months when the stock markets tanked big time. Actually they're still tanking. Now I know how people felt in 1929 -- the great depression that people keep talking about. Yea it is panic right now! One look at the stock portfolio and/or 401K plan is enough to make your head spin. Thank the lord above I'm not retiring anytime soon. Everything is down at least 40 percent. Cash is king right now and we're not spending anything if we don't have to. Unfortunately, we started finishing the basement before the big crash on the Dow on October 10th. So, we have to part with our hard earned cash for some good old staycation i.e enjoy the basement since we have no money to go anywhere!

Now we're praying to the good lord above to keep our jobs intact! That's all I want. Nothing else!

It may not be all that bad because it is fun being with the kids. I have been enjoying the Little One more and more these days. Partly because I'm more relaxed, more experience with kids. With Gudiya we were on our toes. I followed the schedule - rather tried to follow it to no avail. That caused much consternation and stress. With the Little One, I have a more laissez faire attitude. She'll sleep if she wants to, eat if she wants to. Surprisingly enough, she communicates very well. She'll point to the bottle if she wants milk. Points at the island in the kitchen if she wants solid food. She will drink her milk by herself in her little reclining chair. Bring the bottle over to me when she's done. Sits in the swing if she wants to sleep and sing "aaaaaaa-la, aaaaaa- la". She says Maa- mma, da-dee and dee-dih very clearly. She talks on her toy phone. She puts a napkin on her baby dolls and puts them to sleep in the swing. She says One, too, thee, fie, si, venn, nie, te. She fold her little palms as if to say jai-jai when she sees a picture of god. And she can do a really good bye-bye. She'll bring her shoes up to you when she hears just the word bye-bye.

Gudiya is doing well in school. Although husband and I worry about her. She doesn't have one or two best friends. She plays with a different person everyday. We're not sure what to think of this. Some of her other friends have one best friend. She doesn't. The upside-- she seems happy and likes going to school. But I'm still worried about her. She's recognizing letters of the alphabets.She can write her name really well although she writes E the other way. She's pretty good at one to one correspondence and matching. She can do complex puzzles and can recognize numbers very well. She goes to a Montessori school and anyone familiar with Montessori education will tell you they don't teach kids to read and write.. specially not the little ones. They encourage if the child shows interest in it but will not force it on them.

We went to see her new class the other day. She moved over from toddler class to pre-school class. The age group in this class is 3 years to 6 years. This class has 4 kindergarten kids. Total 15 kids in class with 3 teachers. 2 main teachers and one Montessori intern. The intern is getting her certification in Montessori education. The class has various activities put out on little trays on child-sized shelves. Kids pull out the "work" they want to play with on the floor or table. They will put the "work " back once they're done. The work ranges from simple pouring water from jug work to fractions and decimals work. Even a 3 year old kid can pull out decimals and play with it and a 6 year old can pull up clothes-pin work and play with it. If a teacher sees a kid playing with decimals, she will explain it in a way they can understand. In other words.. no "work" is off-limits for anyone. Also, when 3 year olds watch 6 year old working on complex projects they learn something. I like that. I am not much of an academic sorts. I don't want to pressurize Gudiya to know and learn stuff at a very early age. However, I do hope that she can read simple sentences by 5. I'm confidant that she will be able to do so in 1 year.

This school is very diverse. They have Chinese speaking kids, Russian speaking kids, Indian kids, Korean speaking kids along with kids whose families have lived in the States for generations. The school celebrates all festivals, Diwali, Christmas, Chinese New Year, a festival from Switzerland, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa etc. I love the school and its teachers.

Who'll be the president?

2008-10-08T13:53:00.004-04:00

As someone who's consumed with the political coverage and will turn on the TV to watch election coverage at the drop of a hat, I think the kids get a pretty decent dose of political coverage. I think if I asked the Little One, she'll be able to point out Senator McCain or Senator Obama. ( just kidding)
So it's only fitting that I ask my kids who's going to be the President of the United States of America John McCain or Barack Obama?
Gudiya's answer surprised me in more than one way.
Her choice: Arthur!

Little one's party

2008-10-02T16:31:00.013-04:00

I can't believe I took so long to write about Little One's birthday party. We had it on her birth date, Aug 31. It was a special day. My parents were in the U.S. We had booked a hall at a restaurant and called just about everyone we knew since we hadn't see some of them for over a year.

We had also invited Tickles the clown. She came with her entire exotic petting zoo, hedgehog, chinchilla, armadillo, mice and all. Gudiya was soooo excited about the whole event. But the star of the show was the Little One. It was her special day and she enjoyed it to the hilt. Not one tear. Not one tantrum, even when the cake was cut. She ate when she was hungry, she slept when she was sleepy. Although she slept when we were planning to cut the cake. But we delayed it a bit and woke her up early. Gudiya cried a couple times. Once when she tripped and fell. Once when the hedgehog pricked her.

I had a blast in spite on my backache. Husband had a blast too since he hadn't seen some people for a really long time.

The Little one was standing on her own and taking a few steps at the time of the party. I really wanted to show her off but she refused to give us a performance at the party :-( Although now she's been running like a horse around the house.

Little One has a personality of her own. She communicates really well and has learnt well from her role model i.e her big sister. She eats food that her sister eats. She wants to drink from the same cut as Gudiya. She wants to climb up the bed and sofa just like her sister. Her sister has taught her to get off the bed safely and the Little one has taken to the lesson really well. It's really cute to watch her turn her back when she comes to the edge of the bed and then drops her legs from the bed and slowly slides down. Sometimes she falls on her butt but most of the times she gets off on her own two legs!

She loves going out and will come to you with her shoes and point towards the door. The few words she says are her name, her sister's name, baby, mama, daddy. My head swells up every time she calls me! I feel like she's growing up too fast.

Busy bee

2008-09-04T13:22:00.028-04:00

Life is tough. And it's been very tough on our household the last month.

For starters after G's wedding, we took the herculean task of finishing the basement. Wipe cleaned the basement for the construction. Then to DC for an engagement which in itself was a herculean task ... just the driving part. Why you'd ask? Because for one the Little One does NOT like to sit in the car seat and secondly the traffic to DC from Jersey is a snarl ALL THE TIME!
4 hour drive took us 7 hours. I'll never ever drive long distance with her again or until she learns to sit in the damn car seat. Meanwhile, Gudiya was a gem.

Very sad news, Sim's ( our nanny) dad passed away. She was home with us when she heard the news. Gudiya was home too. Sim came down running obviously very upset and Gudiya saw all that. Understandably she took a week off. Which meant I had to arrange for alternate child care or take time off. In the end husband and I took time off till she came back. Gudiya witnessed the whole thing and wanted to know why she was Sim was upset. I told her her daddy died and he's become a star in the sky. She asked me if all of us were going to be stars in the sky when we die. I said yes. Thankfully she didn't ask me any more questions.

All this while, we were planning Little One's 1st birthday. We were so busy with stuff that we divided the work. Husband booked the hall, decided the menu. I booked the clown and worked on the goody bags and invitations. We rarely consulted each other about our decisions instead simply informed the other on things that were done. It's been that way for the basement as well. We talked about the overall design and color scheme in the basement. Husband picked the tiles, floor and possibly the color as well. We've had no time to go to a store together. ( Although we did go to the store a couple of month ago and decided on the overall look.)

Then we had two political conventions back to back. Hurricanes hitting apparently only on weekends. Which for me means extra work on weekends and on days off. For husband it means not paying attention to the construction in the basement because he ends up babysitting. All of this has pushed the deadline for the basement and caused more stress.

To top it all off, I've strained my lower back. Can't bend, can't pick up Little One without wincing. Every time I bend down, my face blanches. The pain has become unbearable. Doc says it's a pinched nerve. But kids, laundry, dishes and other chores don't know that my back is out of whack. Husband has been bathing kids and putting them to bed, doing the dishes etc. But it's not in me to sit on my butt and watch him struggling with all the house chores, office work AND basement supervision. MIL is doing the cooking and has been as helpful as she can be but she has her limitations.

One bright spot. The school has begun and Gudiya is loving it. I'm happy too because it hurt my heart to see her ambling away at home with not much to do.

The basement will be finished by end of this month.( fingers and toes crossed) I'm going for physical therapy and ingesting strong drugs in hopes that my back gets better. So hopefully next time I write, I'll have a cheery post.

Happy Birthday Little One!

2008-09-03T10:18:00.004-04:00

Someone at work said, when you have little kids, your days are long but your years fly by.
That couldn't be more far from truth for me.
The Little One is one year old.
She's grown so fast.

Just recently she took a few wobbly steps veering to the left and then right before plonking down to the floor.
She squeals with laughter that ends with wild hiccups when her sister jumps and runs around the house.
She calls out to "mum-mma" and "dah-dee" and her sister "did-dih" .
She crawls at the speed of lightning and knows exactly what she wants.
She point to "thich" (this) and determinedly wants to acquire it right away.
She loves riding a toy car outside. No stoller please and hates car seats!!
She loves climbing up on the chair and yelling at the TV.
She loves her Gerber tomato crunchies.
Her love for her sister is unabashed... They play for hours.
She cries when her sister cries. Laughs when she does.

It's funny, I don't remember much about Gudiya when she was a year old. All I remember is that she started walking at 10 months and was walking really well at her 1st birthday party. She was a quite little girl completely enamoured by the balloon. She did take good naps in the afternoon. I don't remember what she was saying at the time but I vaguely remember her saying "awe-sa" meaning awesome!

But I do remember Gudiya' s 1st birthday party like it was yesterday. I cringe every time I think about it. We had the party in our basement. I was mighty enthusiastic about it. I decorated the basement. Baked cupcakes. Worked hard on the goody bags. Got clothes, shoes for her. Balloons.
Gudiya was in a great mood throughout. We had called almost 50 people. Food was great, Cake was great, planning was great. But the cameras weren't . We didn't get a good picture of the cake, nor the time I blew the candles out for her, nor the time she started crying when they all sang Happy Birthday! I was so disappointed. We had a camera malfunction and the person responsible for taking pictures never told us about it. Still guilty about it.

This time around, we're having a party at a restaurant. Calling almost 75 people since Mom & Dad are in U.S. This time I'm making sure we get some good pics.

So, Happy Birthday Little One. I really don't want you to grow up.. or at least not so fast!

Edited to add: Her birthday was on the 31st.

Wedding Part 2

2008-08-12T16:28:00.007-04:00

It was mehndi day and we were sore after a night of dandiya and carrying babies around the whole party. Nope none of my kids slept. I think Gudiya is mildly agoraphobic. She wants to be near me, in my godi the whole time she's in a crowded place. This is not a great situation for me or husband because none of us are ever without kids. That makes eating very difficult. It's only after Gudiya becomes comfortable she'll get off our laps and mix around. But for the first half hour or so, we have to hold her.

Anyhow, at the mehndi, Gudiya and I were the first among some 50 odd guests to get our hands painted and the first ones to wash it all off. But we were thrilled cause the color came out in brilliant hues of rust. I have no patience for mehndi. Absolutely none . I have never kept it on overnight no matter what. Not even for my wedding. I guess Gudiya goes after me.

My jijaji had called in a caricaturist who made out portraits for anyone who wanted. I think the man must have drawn at least 100 portraits. And what a man was he.. he sat there for 5 hours, never getting up, he probably had two beers and didn't even get up to go to the bathroom. Amazing guy!

Saturday was the Wedding day.

The wedding day started early, too early for me, 7am. Woke up, woke children up, fed them, got them ready. Thank goodness for the connecting rooms we got with in-laws. They looked after the kids when we got ready. The church ceremony started at 10:30a. We had to be there by 9:45 but got there at 10:00. Which is a miracle in itself. The ceremony started on time. And Gudiya being the flower girl was the first to go.Gudiya hung out with Lauren, the maid of honor. I stood just below the alter to receive her. At the rehearsal, she walked just as she was told. Slow and steady. She didn't have to drop petals so it was just a walk. At the ceremony, she literally ran down the aisle. Everyone in the church chuckled. She looked great. She was wearing a white dress with pearl necklace and bracelets that were a tad bit big for her wrist. White shoes, white socks.

The wedding was beautiful. I bawled the whole time and so did the Little One. We spent the whole time in the church's "crying room" where we could hear and see the ceremony. Just no one would be able to hear us.

After lunch we got ready for the Hindu ceremony at 3:30p. The barat arrived sharp at 3:30. We got there at 3:45 ( again ... great by our standards) just when everyone was dancing at the hotel entrance. All hotel guests and staff were down by the entrance to witness the barat. The DJ blared, lejaenge, lejaenge dilwale dulhaniya . The dholak wala banging out bhangra beat. Random people were taking pictures. Children in shorts and swimsuits on the sidewalk watching and smiling. Husband and I danced and danced. Being on the bride's side did not stop us.
It also was the hottest day of the season. We were in our silks, dancing and sweating and dehydrating. It was unbearable. I wanted to stop but I just couldn't. I was having so much fun. Beside no one could find the pundit. So the barat stretched a little longer. Finally, I couldn't take the heat anymore. I went inside with the kids, leaving husband to dance. I was getting a headache. And I could sense that this one was going to be a bad one. Pills were taken in with a lot of water. But it would not go away. Spent the entire wedding ceremony in my cousin's hotel room with the kids. I wanted to tear my saree out.

The entire wedding was a haze. I was not feeling well. I was getting a bad migraine. People were coming over to say their hellos and my responses were mechanical. All I remember is feeding the kids their dinner.

At the reception, I just couldn't take the music. I thought I was going to faint. I thought I would throw up if I stayed there one more minute. I told husband to drop me home in the middle of the reception. It was an unfortunate end to a wonderful wedding. The long wedding had taken a toll on my health. I was very disappointed but there was nothing I could do. I took the kids back to the hotel, husband put them to bed and I slept in my saree and husband went back to the reception!

The wedding: Part 1

2008-08-07T11:04:00.005-04:00

So, G is a married woman. Yeah, she's Gudiya's and Little One's cousin , almost 25 plus years their senior. Gudiya was a flower girl at her wedding.

The wedding itself -- a lavish affair. The celebrations started on Wednesday and ended with a finale on Saturday. We were all put up in hotel rooms with kids and bags and everything. We went there only to bathe and sleep. With the amount of bags and stuff we had there was no place to move in the room resulting in many bruises on legs and toes for the entire family including the crawler.

Sangeet on Wednesday day 1 of the celebrations. The four of us -- my sisters and I and danced on Ghumer after much practice that happened literally 2 days before the sangeet. My unwilling 3rd sister being dragged into dancing with us. My eldest and the second most enthu of the lot. Me, considered to be the dancer in the house, was enthu but bone tired. The eldest who lives in Delhi went to a lady who taught her the steps, recorded the whole sequence on a DVD for us here in the states. There was a time I would have been able to choreograph such things with ease but something has changed after kids.
I was the only one huffing and puffing after each practice session while my sisters who are 10 plus years older than I were just peachy! I had to lie down on the floor flat after each practice session while they stood around my supine body and tsk'ed, tsk'ed.

Then, the day before the Sangeet, everyone ( the 35 odd guests) at my sister's place decided they all wanted to do a group dance, qawwali style. We had no song. Being the supposed "dancer" in the family, everyone was looking at me. Too much burden on my weary shoulders. Now, as you may know, I have two kids, I work and therefore haven't had a chance to see a single movie since the last 4 years, I'm not in tuned with the latest songs. My Iphone has Devdas, Kuch Kuch hota hai, Bunty Babli and Lagaan. My pop culture repertoire stops there. I was at loss. I had no interest or willingness to take a leadership role. But then everyone WAS looking at me.

They were playing a DVD of movie songs and Kajrare came along. Everyone gathered around the TV to watch and I knew we had a song. So we did a little qawwali type thing on Kajrare. Men on one side, women on the other and gave people with two left feet and arms a few basic actions and we were in business. Guidya screeched all along. She did not like it and wanted no part of it. She and Little One had to be taken away into the other room while we practised. Which, by the way, was more fun than the actual performance at the sangeet.

The day of the Sangeet, that song became a hit... 20 odd people on the stage were making up their own hand actions, getting up dancing tapori-eshtyle when they wanted.
Gudiya wasn't in the mood. She loves dancing but something about Kajrare hit a sour note with her.

We managed to do Ghumer with ease, thankfully. As soon as I got off the stage, Gudiya was wailing, She wanted to go to the bathroom for pee, pee. I dutifully took her, sweating to my bones , huffing and puffing, all the while missing all the applause and accolades.

After Kajrare, she came running to me, again wailing. This time she wanted to go potty. I dutifully took her, sweating, huffing and puffing. We sat on there for a few minutes and nothing. I asked her what the matter was. She said, " I don't like Kajrare song. Don't dance on that song anymore."

Till date, she hates that song and I'm not sure why. meanwhile, The Little One loves it. She sits qawwalli style and claps every time she hears the song.

Gushing about the girls

2008-07-09T16:53:00.003-04:00

The Little One is a charmer. She turns on her charm every time she sees a new face. Charm that can make you go weak in your knees. One can't help but pick her up. At 10 months, she has a pretty good control over her legs. She sits on her knees with her arms outstretched with the most beautiful toothy grin. (She has 6 teeth, two bottom and 4 on top) She yells out "heeeya, heeya". She crawls to me real fast when I come home from work. She climbs up and gives me a BIG tight hug. Her little arms around my neck, chin resting on my shoulder. Then she'll detach herself, look at me , say something and pinch my lips with her tiny little, clawy fingers.

She waves bye, bye. She claps when she hears music. She shakes both her arms as if to say no when I feed her. She gestures to the direction she'd like to go. She loves pureed Kichidi and curd. She loves her sister and wants to be with her as soon as she comes back from school. She won't let her drink her milk in peace. She loves to be picked up by her sister. She loves pulling her hair. Sometimes when the Little One cries, Gudiya tells her to pull her hair if it will make her feel better.

We got her ears pierced recently. Needless to say, she screamed on top of her lungs when the first one was pierced and kept crying till we left the place. She looked at the lady who did the deed as if to say "WTF??, I smiled at you when I came here, Why did you do this to me"?
Gudiya started crying too. She later said, "that was a bad place. we're not going there anymore."
Amen.

It feels wonderful when the Little One recognizes me and wants me and only me to pick her up. Now, I'm pretty secure about myself . But it is very special to feel wanted by a baby. I can't explain it's just a great feeling.

Have you caught yourself smiling or crying when you're up and about doing your thing? I have, often when I'm sitting on the bus to work, I'll think of something funny Guidya said and will burst into giggles. The other day Gudiya told me, "I love you mama, you're my favorite mama."
Gudiya hurt herself while riding a scooter. She had borrowed her cousin's scooter which had a picture of Hannah Montana. After she fell, and yelled and bawled. She told everyone who passed us on the street," That Hannah Montana scooter was not for me. I fell down, excuse me, that Hannah Montana scooter was not for me." All this with tears streaming down her cheeks.

'xcuse me!

2008-06-25T09:39:00.001-04:00

xcuse me, xcuse me is a refrain you'd hear in our household anytime.. day ot night! It is Gudiya's favorite word. She starts a sentence with it. And she doesn't stop saying 'till you respond to her. She says it with her friends and teachers and just about anyone who won't pay attention to her right away.

"xcuse me, xcuse me, children, I'm the coach. On your marks, get set, go" to her friends, some of who are twice her age.
"xcuse me, xcuse me, Mommy I want to eat something inst-tres-ting!" meaning she wants candy.
"xcuse me, xcuse me daddy, can I watch something?" when she wants to watch a show on TV
"xcuse me, xcuse me, Little One, you can't do that. Don't do that or you'll hurt yosself. Be careful Little One." "xcuse me Mommy, Little One is not lissenning to me."

It is simply fun to talk to Gudiya these days. She talks like a big person saying phrases like "sure, you can do it. You just have to try."

She's on a short 2 week summer break before camp. The last day of school being June 17th. And I am at a loss about what to do with her on her time off. I could do something outdoors with her but then what do I do with the Little One? I can't possible take the Little One to the beach or the park for the whole day ... alone. I would certainly go nuts with 2 kids in the heat.

Have been planning stuff in the backyard. Got a kiddie pool, lot of sidewalk chalk, waterplay toy and going to get a sandbox. The park, beach or the zoo will have to happen on a weekend when husband can watch Little One while I go out with Gudiya.

Walk in the rain

2008-06-19T10:22:00.001-04:00

On the bus ride home from work ... the sky was turning black and the winds were picking up.
The bus driver warned, "it's going to come down." I prayed for the rain to wait for just a little bit.
"Do you have to run to your car?" he asked.
"No" I said, "I walked today and I have no umbrella".
"Oh boy", he said sadly, "Good luck then".
"Thanks, I will need it" I replied. "Have a good evening" and I got off.

By now, the winds had picked up ... you know the kind where your hair stand up in the air and take shape of the blowing wind, you know like it is when cartoon figures get electrocuted?

I ran towards home - a 10 minute walk from the bus stop.

The sky was black but I could see the sun rays wafting on the horizon. It was a beautiful sight. The winds were blowing hard... there was no one on the roads, no people, no cars. It was quite, just the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. I hoped for the moment to still so I could enjoy the serenity of the violent fury of nature.

But, barely a minute into the walk, it came down.

And it came down hard!! You know the kind that hurts you, the kind that even the highest speed of the wipers cannot clear the water from the windshield, you know the kind that raises mist from the falling rain and makes visibility poor on the roads.

I ran but I knew it was futile because I was already drenched to my undies.

So I walked, walked leisurely, soaking in the moment, enjoying the rain pounding on my head and shoulders and legs. A few cars passed by, slowing down to see who this idiot was. One of my co-riders stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride home. I told him I was okay and enjoying the rain. I didn't want to ruin his car upholstery.

I walked past the houses, thinking of the time I was a kid. How I ran out of the house when it rained. Just to jump the puddles, ride my bike in rain and sit on the main gate, wave to everyone who passed by. I enjoyed those carefree moment. I felt like I was transported to my childhood ... walking in the rain with my expensive leather bag and a jacket that was dry-clean only. I didn't care! They could go to hell for all I care. I was enjoying the moment. I don't know when I will have such a time again in my life. I was laughing. I passed by homes that had sprinklers on. My instincts told me to step away from the sprinklers but it didn't matter today. I walked through them barely feeling the water of the sprinkers.

I passed neighbors looking out from their windows. Their mouths turning a big O as soon as they laid eyes on me. I smiled at them and waved. They smiled and waved back.

A lone jogger passed me, "enjoying the rain?"
"Yes", I said. "Isn't this fun?"
"Oh yeah, this is fun" she said, jogging away.

I got home and got scolded by the husband, just like the times when I was scolded by my mom for getting wet in the rain.

P.S the bag and the jacket are fine and so am I.

Illness

2008-06-06T15:41:00.007-04:00

So, Little One is teething. She's getting 4 top teeth. She also has a viral fever. I think Gudiya has it too.

I just want the kids to be well. I am sick of the illnesses that have been trailing us for a while now. Both Gudiya and Little One got ear infections too. They're on antibiotics and for the first time in 3 weeks, Gudiya has no fever. The first antibiotic was completely ineffective, this is the second, more stronger kind. And for this someone who's had them only once in the past.

But the good news is that Papa & Mummy are here for G's wedding.

We're gearing up for the wedding. Gudiya is going to be a flower girl for the Catholic wedding. I'm supposed to be in charge of the sangeet and I am nowhere near prepared. I'm too busy taking care of the sick ones.

I'm also trying to shape up for the wedding. Lord knows I need some toning. I've been walking to the bus stop. I am so out of shape that muscles I didn't even know existed are protesting.

Papa, mummy are having a blast with the girls. Mom has been making lovely dishes and mithais for me. So much for exercises.

Little one is crawling

2008-05-15T15:58:00.003-04:00

So, the little one is crawling. She's been trying for sometime now. But yesterday she did it! A couple days ago while trying to crawl, she moved backwards and went under the sofa. It was a sight for the eyes. Her body under the sofa but her little head was sticking out!
She wailed like the sky was falling. We think it was either because we were laughing or she realized that she was stuck. Don't worry, she was in the position for just 15 seconds!

Yesterday, when I came back home from work, husband asked me to stand a little far away. Seeing me, the little one crawled like she was running a race. It was the most wonderful sight.

Weighty issues

2008-05-07T16:20:00.003-04:00

I am so out of shape and I do not know if I can ever get back to the pre-pregnany weight before Gudiya was born. Thankfully I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight before the little one but I still have a long way to go ... A looong way, almost 15 lbs.

Till then will have to deal with the sagging bustline, tummy that looks 5 months pregnant. The body doesn't look anything like Vinci's Vitruvian Man.. err... You know what I mean... you know, the perfect human body like the ones in the biology text book. It looks NOTHING like the mannequin that wears clothes that I desire. And when I do try those clothes on, I feel like throwing up. Have you caught the mannequins in the Saks Fifth Ave window? They have been made to pose with their tummies out, arms akimbo. Standing there, staring at them I feel they're trying to imitate a pregnant woman. Little do they know what pregnancy can do to a human body.

Besides the gravity inclined bustline, triple stomach and completely toneless limbs ... my face looks haggard -- the best way I can describe it. It is pale, colorless and limp. I have no time to prim and prune myself. If I had time to do any of it...I'd really like to sleep.

I know of no makeup. Haven't touched the gloss in years for the fear of smearing it on my children's faces. Foundation? What's that? And I need to chuck that blush away that I bought 5 years ago and barely used. It's probably toxic now. It's not that I don't like to apply paint..I just don't have the time and honestly, the will to do so. Also I fear that my makeup will end up on my kids faces since I keep kissing them.

And the lord above know I need a haircut. I want to do something exciting to my hair. I've always been adventurous with them. Never had a same haircut for more than 6 months. Once when I was young, I permed my hair really curly. Husband, who was a friend then, covered his eyes because he couldn't bear to see what I had done. But this time..I've had the same haircut for 2 years.

Clothes don't fit ... nothing that I like is flattering on me anymore. I have relegated to wearing one size bigger to hide all the ...you know, stuff. I miss those forgiving salwar kameez. When I did have a killer figure ... I hid it under the Salwar Kameez, loose T-Shirts and jeans. I very much regret it now.

And I have lost the will to wear Jewelry... I don't know why. The only bling-bling that I have on everyday is my engagement ring, wedding band and another gold ring my mom gave me. And yes a pair of earrings that haven't left the lobes in years.(except for a wash). But two accessories I always have on are worry and guilt. I'm never without them.

And did I tell you... I haven't slept for more than 4 hours in 9 months.

The Agency Nanny

2008-05-01T09:57:00.000-04:00

is prescreened and may be experienced and very, very expensive especially for those who want them for 3 days a week.

They want to make a certain amount of money a week and if I call them for just 3 days I'd have to pay them the same amount as I would if I had them full time. And don't forget the fees that you have to pay the agency -- somewhere in the range of $3000. One nanny never showed up for the tryout!!

I don't understand what is wrong. It's not an impossible job.
It includes taking care of Little one, dropping and picking up Gudiya from school. While they're doing that MIL watches the little one at home. Fold laundry. Keep Kitchen tidy and vacuuming the family room --where little one spends most time. Keep kids bedrooms tidy. Is that too much to ask from them. I'm willing to pay twice the amount my friends pay their nannies.

I think the problem is that I need them for just 3 days. I refuse to have a nanny for 5 days. That beats the whole purpose. I practically threw my career away to be with my kids and I won't give up that time with them.

I know there is someone out there for us. We just have to keep looking. It's been a very depressing 2 months. I can't bear to leave Little one in a daycare ( nothing wrong with them, but it's just my personal choice) I've thought of quitting my job many times since Liliana illness.

I even asked Gudiya to pray.. sneaky huh! Hoping that the Gods above will hear her prayer first.

Bad Luck!

2008-04-30T12:49:00.003-04:00

It's unreal. I feel like I'm having such a bloody back luck. I have left messages to several nannies. I've tried calling classifieds at at least 2 newspapers to post ads and no one, NO ONE has called me back. What's going on? Are they not getting my messages? Why am I being ignored? I feel like a jilted lover right now. The hope that tomorrow is a new day has been keeping me sane all these days... but I'm losing hope of finding a good nanny and I'm losing it ... slowly.

Nanny problems

2008-04-30T10:59:00.004-04:00

Still without a nanny. I hired one yesterday and she called out today. Had hired one last week -- turns out she smoked and was fired. Just having a bad luck with them. Am at wit's end. Gudiya is at school- thank god. MIL is taking care of the little one. Husband is working from home these days and I am helpless. I commute to the NYC so there's not much I can do.

Crazzzzzzzzzzzzzy!!

The Nanny Chronicles

2008-04-24T13:45:00.003-04:00

I'm without one... that's a Nanny, I'm without one and I'm mentally, physically shaken!

I had one for Gudiya when she was 6 months old, when I started working 3 days a week. She was an elderly, kind and gentle lady. We called her Aunty. She was Indian and helped with a little cooking. While she and Gudiya got along great, Little one bawled like there was no tomorrow the moment she saw her. Besides, she was not keeping good health and called out sick a lot. Besides I needed someone to drive Gudiya back and forth from school and Aunty didn't drive. So Aunty had to go. We parted amicably.

So, I began to hunt for one in earnest. Spoke to parents at school, advertised at grocery stores, Craigslist, Sulekha and just about everywhere. Finally two promising leads. One a new mom who had a 7 month old of her own and second a middle aged lady with a little more experience. Liliana the new mom was recommended by a parent at school. I loved her the instant I saw her ... Lili was perfect. She drove, she knew what to do with an infant, Gudiya loved her. We called her for a try-out and she impressed us with her skills. She was able to do some house work along with taking care of little one and safely drop and pick up Gudiya. She was perfect in every way. I knew it was too good to be true!

The second lady came through Craigslist. She was expensive but had 13 years of experience at being a nanny. A single mom of a 14 year old, she was sincere, calm, and graceful lady. She impressed us at the try-out. She took care of both the kids really well and engaged them effectively. She could drive but shared a car with her sister so she couldn't drive Gudiya back and forth everyday...

Both were ready to work part-time - 3 days a week.

So we went with Lili because she fit all our requirements. That's when our troubles began and it was not because of her. Her daughter fell sick, really, really sick, had to be hospitalized etc. She could not come to work anymore after working with us for 2 months. She fell sick too. Doctors found a tumor. We parted ways. I was so sorry to let her go but I had to. I told her she could come anytime she wanted. She asked me to look for a new nanny.

The lady from Craigslist helped me out. She already had a job but she came over in the mornings and then went to her job. My MIL agreed to watch the baby from Noon -5pm the three days I was at work. Somedays Lili came from 3p-5p. Gudiya came home with one of the neighbor's kid who also goes to the same school as she.

I know I can't go on like this. Hence searching for a new nanny.

Update- potty training

2008-04-17T16:44:00.003-04:00

Gudiya started her potty training on Dec 23. We started it cold turkey. No pullups nothing. One day she had diapers , one day she didn't. Diapers were used only at night. I'm happy to say she is completely trained. Actually she's been good since the end of Feb. Her last accident was on Feb 21st -- I think!
I'm very proud of her.

Quirky

2008-03-23T22:30:00.003-04:00

Gudiya has a quirk.
If she sees a hair on the ground or on a jacket, anybody's hair , she picks it up and puts it back on her head.

Two Teeth

2008-03-23T22:27:00.002-04:00

Little one cut two teeth, two bottom ones. They just popped , out of the blue. She opened her mouth to eat and there I saw them... her first two pearly whites.

I spent the rest of the day showing them off to anyone who would want to see or hear about it.

Please sleep alone.

2008-03-12T14:24:00.000-04:00

Gudiya is doing really well about sleeping on her own, in her Princess bed. Most nights, we take her to her bed, put her down and leave a couple dolls and toys with her. When we go into the check in 10 mins, she's out! Some days are more difficult than others. She wants to listen to 4 stories, she holds up her little fingers to say so! And then she wants to be hugged, and kissed, and she's hungry and she's thirsty and she's everything but sleepy. But eventually she does sleep in her bed, on her own. Both husband and I are very proud of her. Husband more so because he's the one who trained her to sleep alone.

I miss cuddling in with her. It felt so safe to be sleeping next to her. I slept well and I think so did she. I really, really miss sleeping with her. The other day my husband came out after putting her to bed and said, "I never thought I'd say this, but I sleep much better when I was sleeping in the same room as Gudiya, I miss being with her. These days I wake up so many times at night to check on her, I feel I should just sleep in her room"

Ditto man!

Gudiya likes to sleep with her teddy bear. Sometimes she'll take one of her dolls to sleep with her. The other day, she walked over to her toy rack and told me," I want to sleep with someone else today" . My husband and I exchanged surprised glances.

That night she slept with a stuffed doggy.

But why?

2008-03-07T11:00:00.001-05:00

When parents of children told me they get tired of answering to the "but whys", I often wondered aloud -- it couldn't be so bad. How hard is it to answer to their little queries?
I graciously eat my words now. Obviously that was when I didn't have kids. Now that I do, I can empathize with them.

Gudiya asks "why" ad nauseam.

I don't even have to ask her a question, even for a statement such as, I love you Gudiya, she says "but Why?" It's really funny sometimes.

Here's a standard conversation that goes on in our house.
Mommy: Let's go over there
Gudiya: But why?
M: Because we can play there
G: But why?
M: You'll have a good time.
G: But why?
M: ok, that's fine, don't go.
G: But why?
M: Gudiya, stop saying "but why?"
G: But why?
m: Because the sky is to high and you'll get married in July.
G: But why?

First day at work

2008-03-05T13:26:00.001-05:00

Bad first day at work.

Gudiya had a low-grade fever.
Husband lost his wedding band ( found it later though ... phew).
Everyone at work was cribbing about how horrible the place has become.
My commute to the city ... an hour and a half :-(

I was so depressed. My heart was with the babies at home but my head had to be at work. Fortunately I wasn't working .. mostly doing paperwork and socializing but I was a nervous wreck anyway.

Is Gudiya going to be ok?
Did the nanny taking good care of the little one?
Will she be able to pick up Gudiya from school?
Will she be able to put the Little one for her nap?
Did Gudiya eat?
Did Little one cry?

Fortunately, my MIL is at home and husband worked only half a day. I got home at 6:30 and was happy to be home.

Taste of his own medicine

2008-02-25T22:32:00.002-05:00

Gudiya bathes at night, after dinner, TV, dessert etc. She sits in her bucket, in the bathroom tub, soaking herself in leisure. Husband and I chat while she's playing with water. It is always an uphill battle trying to get her out of the bucket. So, husband counts till 5. If she doesn't come out, he pretends to call imaginary ants on a pretend phone to come into the bucket. Generally Gudiya gets up before he starts to dial.

Sometimes, when husband threatens to count till 5, she'll very helpfully offer to count 1- 2-3- 4 and, and, and 6 , skipping 5 altogether.

This morning husband was taking a shower in the stall. She walked over and stood outside the stall and told husband to come out.

Gudiya: Daddy, you need to come out now.
Daddy: (no answer)
Gudiya: I'm going to count till 5. Okay, 1-2-3-4-5
Daddy: Give me one second.
Gudiya: I'm calling ants now, (punching numbers on pretend phone) , Mr. Ants, come in, daddy is not coming out.
Daddy: (laughing)
Gudiya: Don't laugh, ants will come and bite you... come out NOW.
Daddy: (grabbing a towel), ok, I'm out now.

Husband is miffed because this exercise has put an end to his half- hour showers!

Back to work

2008-02-21T23:24:00.005-05:00

I'm going back to work next week after 6 months of break. I'm REALLY looking forward to it.

But

I'm going to miss the kids a lot. I start to bawl everytime I think of leaving home. How am I going to do it? The upside ... I am working 3 days a week.

Oh and...

I have a new nanny. A nice Portuguese girl who loves the baby and the baby loves her. She also drive Gudiya back and forth from school.

I have a new wardrobe.

New shoes.

New down jacket to keep me warm in NYC chill.

New haircut. God knows I needed one and needed it bad.

New desk at work.

New work schedule that includes no weekend days.

Got the facials, waxing etc.

I'm ready to rumble and eager to get back into a new routine.

You Are My Sunshine

2008-02-14T12:34:00.002-05:00

You Are My Sunshine in Gudiya's words...

You Are My Shumshine
My only shumshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I lab you.
Please don't take my shumshine away.

This song makes me cry all the time. Don't know why.

Quirky post

2008-02-14T10:10:00.002-05:00

Here's for you Kiran,

The Rules:-
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
- Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
- Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

My six quirks... hmmm.
hmmmm!
hmmmm!
Let me think!
I really have to think!!

Oh well! Here goes.

-- I hate long nails; I'll bite off a long nail if I can't find a nail cutter.
-- I don't dress up warmly when I leave home, don't know why, but I don't. And the husband hates me for that.
-- I wash my hands a hundred times a day and therefore have dry hands, so much so that my knuckles are raw.
-- I have to read when I'm sitting, answering the call of nature in the morning.
-- Speaking of call of nature, I won't use public restrooms.(except in emergency situations)
-- I procrastinate, much to husband's irritation.

I honestly don’t know who to tag. Everyone I know has already been tagged. But if you do come across this blog, feel free to take up the tag.

Sleeping Beauty

2008-02-12T21:38:00.009-05:00

I gagged, choked and sputtered as we assembled Gudiya's room.

Why you'd ask?

Because it's pink and too girlie for my taste. But the worst of all is this sheet and pillow and comforter I got her. It adorns the three Disney Princesses. Cinderella, Snow White and Belle. I can't bear to look at them, yet, I got it for her.

Ever since she got back from California and the trip to Disney World, she L O V E S them! In fact she has a picture with them too.

We moved Gudiya from the mattress on the floor to a big people's bed. We've been training her to sleep alone, by herself, without me or husband snuggling in with her. The mattress let us snuggle in with her. But we realized that it's time she sleeps by herself.

We got her a twin bed with a side rail. And to make a big deal out of the whole experience of "sleeping by myself", we got her, her favorite bedding of the three princesses. She was very excited about it.

It's been a week since we started the process. And I will say, it’s going pretty well. And I must also mention it’s mostly husband who did the training. He puts her down in her bed everyday at 9:30 and turns off the lights. We check on her at 10:30 and before we turn in. Sometimes she does call out at night but generally, she goes back to sleep without a whimper.

Hey, if the princesses can make her sleep on her own, in her bed, I’ll swallow up my vomit and say, "Thanks Disney".

Random thoughts

2008-01-22T13:41:00.000-05:00

Back in September, I struggled with nursing. I hated it and at the time thought I'd quit after just 2 months.

Fast forward to today. Still nursing little one, actually just started weaning her because I head back to work in a month. I'm truly surprised at myself for going as long as I did.

Little one is adorable, an adorable little devil. She wants mama all the time. She's definitely a mama's girl. As long as I'm holding her or sitting next to her she's fine otherwise all hell breaks loose. Her crying goes from 0 to 60 in 3 seconds. She'd make a perfect car engine!

But my heart melts when she smiles, when she coos and when she puts her little paws up in my sleeve. (by the way, Gudiya did that too).

She looks a lot like Gudiya but she and Gudiya are completely opposite.

I must mention here that it is Gudiya who came up with the little one's name. I thought the name to be too long and rejected it at first. But in the hospital, when husband and I couldn't agree on a name, we decided to go with Gudiya's choice.

Where she got the name from is a mystery to us because we know no one with that name.

Gudiya loves her little sister. She loves holding her and playing with her. Little one knows her sister too. She coos and squeals in delight when Gudiya comes over.

Gudiya's potty training passed week 5 without any accidents, although one has to constantly remind her to go pee pee.

Overheard hubby saying at a party, "its a good day when both my kids sleep in their beds by themselves." And they have been doing that more and more these days. Touch wood!

It's all good but I need a break, break from holding little one all the time, to sleep and watch half hour of TV in peace!

Am looking for another nanny 'cause the current one is completely ineffective with the little one.

Potty tales

2008-01-12T23:23:00.000-05:00

I promised her we'd go underwear shopping if she did pee pee in the toilet and I'd buy her a 'princess underwear'

And thus started our potty training in earnest on Dec 23. Actually I had been dilly dallying for a long time before that. But my sister-in-law who has seen three kids through potty training came over for Christmas and took matters of Gudiya's potty training in her own hands. The diaper came off as soon as she entered the house. She then delegated the responsibility for Gudiya's bathroom trips to her middle child, an 8 years old girl. Gudiya's cousin took her responsibility pretty seriously and took Gudiya to numerous trips without much success. Me, I was just glad someone started the process for me.

There were p l e n t y of accidents and I hovered around Gudiya every time she sat on the fabric sofa or the bed. I saved the beds from christening but alas the sofa wasn't so fortunate. The carpet wasn't so fortunate either. ( another one of the reasons why I hate carpeted homes) . But hey what can you do. Didn't they say, Bacche bhagvan ka swarup hote hai... so their pee- pees should be considered "Shuddh" right? I think every potty training mom needs to keep hammering this in their heads ... the only way you can keep a sane, calm demeanour when you see the warm liquid trickling down on your prized assets.

So, the first week was bad, the second week wasn't all that great either. I have met many moms who swear by the fact that their kid was potty-trained in a week. Well, mine isn't and honestly I don't care if mine isn't. By god, she's going to take her time and I'm gonna give it to her.

The only good thing in all this. Gudiya did poo-poo in the toilet ever since her training started.

The third week, she went to school after two weeks of break. God bless the school, they assured me they would continue with her training and told me the parents only like to think their kids are trained in a week but in reality it takes more time than just a week.

This is week four of the training. She has an accident here and there but generally she's doing great. She tells me when she wants to go pee pee and then washes her little hands with soap. Still having trouble putting on her underwear and pants though.

As promised we went underwear shopping with her and she picked out a princess underwear set. Upon receiving her gift, she says, "I wear princess underwear, mommy wear princess underwear and daddy wear Superman underwear."

The story of Baby Jesus

2008-01-04T14:59:00.000-05:00

I haven't had any time to write about the babies. The holidays were busy but I made a note on a scrap of paper about this story that Gudiya narrated as I drove her home from school. They had celebrated Christmas at school and a parent had gone in to tell the story of Jesus. So here it is...the story of Jesus in her own words...

Once upon a time there was Mary and Josin. Mary and Josin had Baby Jee-us. Three kings came to see Baby Jee-us. Then, Mary gave baby Jee-us to the kings ( here's where Gudiya held an imaginary Baby Jee-us in the cup of her hand. )

Me: What happened after that?
Gudiya: They all lived happily ever after.

She thinks for a second...

Gudiya: Mommy is Mary, daddy is Josin and the little one is Baby Jee-us.
Me: Who are you Gudiya?
Gudiya: I'm the teacher telling the story.

By the way, the little one smiles, she smiles at me like there is no tomorrow. She makes me cry when she smiles ... and that's because it's sooo adorable.

2007-12-30T00:40:00.000-05:00

What a few weeks it has been ! Went to California with the kids to see my dear sister, celebrated Gudiya's birthday, not once, not twice but three times. One at school, one at home and the third one with friends at Play Gym. She blew out the candle on all three cakes right on cue and had the most brilliant smile following the blowout! Then started weeks of holiday shopping ... husband's brother and his family were coming over and we planned to exchange gifts. Knowing how I feel about shopping, I volunteered to take care of the kids at home while husband went out shopping. Hey, at least I won't be blamed for spending money! I graciously accepted cash or cheques. Husband brought many toys for Gudiya and loads of clothes for the little one. We had so many gifts for all the kids ( total 5 kids in the house) that if this trend continues, I will have to buy a bigger christmas tree next year to fit all the gifts underneath. Oh! and we're also potty training Gudiya. Now that should explain why I've been neglecting the blog.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

2007-12-11T16:50:00.000-05:00

Looking at your face each morning is a blessing. I know the Lord really loves me because He gave me you and your sister. I love you with all my heart and soul. Here's wishing you a long, happy and healthy life ahead.
-Mamma

You know its time to return to work...

2007-11-20T22:32:00.000-05:00

when you start calling your husband "beta".

Happy Birthday Dear Papa

2007-11-15T17:14:00.000-05:00

Its dad's 80th birthday.

My parents are in Egypt celebrating it with my three older sisters. Couldn't go because of the little one. I missed it and I'm sad. But I am very happy that my parents, dad at age 80 and mom at 74, are able to travel and enjoy their hard-earned money. So many times I've heard people planning a world tour when they retire but I've come across very few who actually do that. My parents are one of those few. I'm very proud of them. They've remained true to their dreams. They've been coming to the U.S almost every year since the last 7 or 8 years. They went to China, Thailand, Malaysia last year. This year, they travelled to Africa and are cruising the Nile in Egypt as I type . Next year they will be back in the U.S for my niece' wedding.

All this travel requires money. We are a modest family, lived in a modest 2 bedroom house in Baroda, my parents educated and married off 4 girls and they gave us the highest possible education one could get. (one of my sister is a physician and two others got their PhD's. I settled for a masters). My dad was the sole breadwinner and worked hard. My mom on the other hand devoted her life to her family. She saved money like no one's business. My dad often credits her for saving up and making wise investment decisions to make the money work for them.

Money is one thing... you also need health. My parents have, in spite of their heart surgeries, pains and aches, not given up on their life. They look at these ailments in a very matter of fact way and live life like they should. I've never heard them complain about their health or their age. Looking at them, I truly believe age is in the mind and not the body. If you feel old, you ARE old but if you don't think of such things, the sky is the limit.

Papa, I wish I were with you on this special day. I'm so proud to be your daughter and so lucky to have you as my dad and mom as my mother. I'm so lucky to have three wonderful sisters, three brother-in-laws and six nieces and nephews. I'm truly blessed to be born in this family.

Happy Birthday!

Diwali stories

2007-11-06T11:16:00.000-05:00

Our story telling session lasts the ride to the school every morning. I've started encouraging her to tell me stories because my brain is officially empty of ideas.
So here's one of Gudiya's stories in her words.

Once upon a time there was a punkin, he went to mandir to do Jai Shi Krashna. He wear mala, butti and chania-choli and chaei ( bindi). But Jai Shi Krashna sleeping so he shout "wake up jai shi krashna". Then he sing "om jai shi namuna (yamuna)". Then he see fireworks. He is scared of fireworks. And he libed happily ever after. The end!

Yesterday she went to the mandir and as part of Diwali celebrations some kids were playing with fireworks. Yes she did wear her chania-choli and butti ( earrings) and mala etc. My guess: the "punkin" in the story is really her.

Happy Diwali!

Spin a yarn

2007-11-02T11:22:00.000-04:00

We're into story telling these days. We like to tell stories and listen to them. Mommy has fried her brain cells trying to concoct stories of creatures that Gudiya comes up with.

Her favorite character is spider. She wants to listen to a story of a spider. In the middle of the made up story that I'm trying very hard to come up with, she adds new characters ... the queen, the rain, blue ( from blue's clues). Try telling a story of a spider with these new characters added at random ! On days when my brain is fried, logic goes out of the window and characters act like the ones in Hindi soaps.

Today, as always, she wanted to listen to the story of a spider. I asked her if she wanted to listen the story of a good spider or a bad spider. "no a giant spider", she says. Then she thought for a moment and said, "no tell me a story of just spider". Ok, that's easy. I begin with spider climbing up the wall and the rain coming down and the spider begins to cry etc. etc. "Then the spider climbed the beanstalk, right?",she says. "What!" I exclaimed. You must be joking I thought. Now you want me to add a beanstalk to the story? Am trying to think of a logical role for the beanstalk in the story of a spider. Gudiya: " The giant is wearing her jamans, right?" What!?! Now my brain has shorted! A giant? where did he come from? And since when is the giant a female? And what the heck is Jamans? I asked her what she meant. "Giant wear her Jamans to sleep, right?" Ohhhh! I get it! Jamans is pajamas. "Yup" she says.

I'm spent thinking of a story of a spider with a beanstalk and a giant with HER jamans in it.

I think I should quit my media job and write story books for kids. Should employ Gudiya to come up with new characters and plot lines. I'll make a lot more money that way ;)

By the way, Little one is 2 months old and she smiles when you speak to her. It's awesome!

The Halloween tale

2007-11-01T22:57:00.000-04:00

So, Halloween is finally over, the decorations have come down and Christmas decor is up .... yes, already. I don't know where these people find time to do all this. In fact today, the day after Halloween, I saw many shopping for Halloween decorations/costumes in stores at half price --- FOR NEXT YEAR! Hats off to their planning.

So the highness finally went as a princess. She kept calling herself "sleeping parrince. " I corrected her but she insists on being the "parrince". She had me put on the little glittery bindis all over her face. I complied because it was HER day.

She joined a dozen kids in the development for trick or treat. Didn't care about candy, she was just happy to be out and about in her pink costume. In fact, I had to actually push her to get her share of candy which by the way was all eaten up my mommy and daddy.
About the costume, her dad got her the outfit. Am jealous because dad always manages to upstage me in shopping for the girls' clothes. He manages to find the best clothes and at the cheapest price.

In all, it was a great success and Gudiya enjoyed it a lot. Little one stayed at home with daddy, ba and dada. Can't wait for her to join us next year !

Garba

2007-10-29T13:15:00.001-04:00

Navratri has been very special to me. I love garba. As a North Indian growing up in Baroda, garba held a unique fascination. All my sisters and I grew up loving it and I still think (many won't agree) Baroda hosts the best garbas ! My mom loved garbas too ...just watching them. She could never figure out the steps in spite of living in Gujarat for 40 years ! She can read Gujarati like any other Gujju lady but when she speaks, it comes out very accented. Meanwhile I am fluent ... I have fooled many people into believing that I'm a Gujju. And I'm married to one.

Coming back to Garba ... since I was so fond of garba my mom would take special interest making ghaghra-choli for me. She sewed them till I decided she was totally unfashionable. I loved the tribal Rajasthani prints. Still do. And those Rajasthani ghaghras made of yards and yards of fabric -- the ones the dancers wear for Ghumer dance, they're my favorite. My mother are I took many a bus trips to remote Rajasthani villages to get authentic prints for the dress and traditional silver jewellery--- all for just 9 nights of dancing. It was the most magical time of my life. Even now when I think of that time...I have such a warm feeling and excitement of going to Garba.

Gudiya went for Garbas this time and she understood what it meant. Unfortunately in the U.S, garbas are held only on weekends and in some places just on Saturday. So we went for 2 Saturdays. She doesn't know the steps but she held my little finger and followed me around while I danced.

She was more excited to wear the finery ... just as I was when I was growing up.

She was very sleepy but refused to go home !

She spent a lot of time picking up little glittery things that fell off peoples ghaghras.

What will you be for Halloween?

2007-10-27T00:17:00.000-04:00

" I want to be the Parrincess." This after she wanted to be a ladybug and before that she wanted to be a fairy and before that Tigger. And like a fool, I got the Tigger costume the day she fell in love with Tigger. I wish I knew how fickle minded my child could be. Forgive me, for this is my first Halloween experience with a toddler with her own mind. Last year, she was barely two and hence didn't have much of an opinion. I promptly dressed her us as a China doll, courtesy the dress her nana and nani got for her on their visit to China. This time around I won't know what she will be for Halloween till Oct 31.

Last month, I got her the Tigger costume because she saw it at the store and wanted it. I payed full price for it and she wore it everyday at home. I thanked my stars and bragged to all my friends about how I'm all set for Halloween. Mid- month she wanted to be a ladybug. Now that was a challenge . I didn't know how to dress her up as a ladybug and the costume I looked up was way out of the budget. ( am not spending the inheritance on a costume that she will wear once or twice). Therefore I was pleased when she said fairy. I saw a pair of wings and a dress with glitters. I grabbed it for it was on sale. Now her highness says she wants to be princess. Will use the fairy dress, but hunting for a crown now. Wish me luck.
update: Now she wants to be a buzzing bee. Mom is tired so she's going to decide for Gudiya.

Good days and bad days

2007-10-19T23:18:00.001-04:00

Everyone has good days and bad. Last night was bad. The little one would not stop crying. I yelled at her to stop and she didn't! I put her in the crib and let her cry for just 30 seconds and it seemed forever to me. I started to cry too! I didn't know how to make her comfortable. I did everything I could to make her feel better.The more I tried the more upset she got. I fed her, gave her the binky, changed her diaper, rocked her, sang to her, walked with her, lay her on her stomach, on her back, gave her mylicon ( gas reliever), put hing on her tummy and a lot more but to no avail. I even did the "nazar" thingy. Finally she went to sleep. The entire ordeal lasted for 30 minutes but I felt like I lost a 1000 calories in that time. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. Tonight she's been good so far. I have tried to maintain her schedule to the T.

Gudiya doesn't like to see the baby cry. She will tell me to pick her up when she's upset. I miss spending time with Gudiya. I hate to send her to school. Often times I think of keeping her at home but it's hard for me to do that specially since I'm trying to figure out little one's schedule. I need to take care of the household matters and the only way I can do that is if Gudiya is at school. To top it all, she loves going to school. She wakes up in the morning and starts yapping about school. Tomorrow is Saturday. It's going to be me and Gudiya all day long. Going to the Oktoberfest celebration in the morning and then for Garba at night.

Picture of her getting ready for Garba last weekend. She had a B L A S T !

Went pumpkin picking with daddy last weekend.

With best friend M who is 2 year older to her. M's dad and my husband went to nursery school together and as luck would have it the family stays 4 houses down !

Dream on ...

2007-10-18T10:57:00.000-04:00

Kiran of Karmic kids tagged me a while ago. And she tagged me with dreams ! Now, to begin with, I don't remember my dreams. I had to really think hard about recurring dreams. So I took her advice and went to sleep in spite of having a newborn at home. You should know people, I don't sleep these days ! Nevertheless... here I am making a concerted effort to first and foremost sleep and then dream and then remember them the next day.

Here it goes...
1) To begin with, I often am a spectator in my own dreams. I see myself doing stuff in the dreams as if it were a stage and me being the audience.
2) I dream of flying in the skies to escape something sinister.
3) I dream that I have not prepared for my math exam.
4) I dream that my dad is not well or hurt. I always wake up after that one and can't go back to sleep.
5) I dream of places that I have never been to but seem very, very familiar.

Chew on that Freuds and Jungs of the blog world.
I really don't know who to tag . Kiran has tagged almost all of them. But I do read Madmomma, mamasaysso, mommyof2 and of course Karmickids regularly.

Dads want to stay at home too.

2007-10-11T15:19:00.000-04:00

The article in Time is worth a read. It's called Fatherhood 2.0 . It talks about fathers who are taking interest in their kids life. Some dads in the article are stay at home dads. I for once was really pleased that someone wrote on the topic. My husband takes care of the girls as much as I do. There is not one thing that he can't do. He can change diapers, put both of them to sleep, make their milk, sterilize their bottles/cups, feed both of them and can look after them as well as anyone in the house. Currently he's the sole breadwinner since I'm on maternity and working part-time. He comes home tired and exhausted yet he actively helps out with the kids.

Upon reading the article, he said," I wish I could stay at home with the girls". I wish we could all stay at home with the girls.

As soon as I hit publish, I'm running out to buy a lottery ticket.

Wish me luck !

Here's him applying the nail polish for the first time in his life. And he did a pretty decent job !

She's such a girl !

2007-10-10T11:32:00.000-04:00

Gudiya is suddenly into girlie stuff. Which is fine by me but Barbie is where I draw a line. I don't care for Barbie dolls and never bought her any. I never got her dolls period. All the dolls and stuff toys we have are gifts from people. We haven't introduced her to any girlie or boyish toys. I haven't spoken to her about ballet or racing cars or superman. So it did come as a surprise to me when she got on her tippie toes and put her arms over her head as if to do a ballet dance. The same day she surprised me again when she pointed to a red car and told me that it was a racing car. I didn"t know what to think.
The other day, she wanted to be princess "darby". Not knowing who it was, I ignored it until she pointed out Princess "darby" in the Barbie aisle at the store.
She's definitely a girl...that I know. I wonder how they are conditioned to like stuff that's all girlie and cute. I certainly didn't encourage any of it. She likes to wear her Ghagra-choli. She likes to dance and constantly carries her stuff toys around. She says she is doing ballet when on her toes. She likes to paint her toes, put hair clips, do mehndi. She's gravitating to all things girlie.

Some pictures

2007-09-30T23:02:00.001-04:00

We like to sleep on the stomach and keeping mommy on her toes. Doctors tell me that I shouldn't let her sleep on her tummy for the fear of SIDS.

We're going to be Tigger for Halloween. Her friend is going to be a princess and she's pestering me to get her a princess costume. I'm trying to get her excited to be Tigger. Just got a bunch of Winnie The Pooh books from the library.

This is a night's worth of diapers to be loaded into the diaper genie.

Gudiya is a big sister now

2007-09-27T13:02:00.001-04:00

Gudiya greets the little one daily. As soon as she enters our bedroom, which is where the crib currently resides, she makes the beeline for it, climbs up and wishes little one good morning. Does not heed warnings from me or husband to not wake her up.

She doesn't like to see little sister cry. She will either start crying herself of ask me to pick the baby up immediately. The little one is an angel during the day but at night she's a devil. She has a fit every night from 9:30p to 11:00p and no matter what you do, she will not stop crying. I dread 9:30 on the clock! Docs say it's the "witching hour" ... for me its not an hour, it's more like eternity.

These days Gudiya is talking non-stop. "No" being her favorite word. She tells me stuff she did in school in detail. Will correctly tell me what she had for lunch and if someone was mean to her in the playground. She will tell me where she's hurt. Will repeats stories I've read to her. Narrates the entire episode of a TV show she just watched. It's so much fun to listen to her talk. I wish she wouldn't grow up. She wants to take little sister to school,"can her come?"

"We're all family" she says. "Gudiya, mommy, daddy and baby, we're all family. Then she says,"That's daddy,pointing to daddy, that's mommy, pointing to me, I'm Dora and baby is Boots"

She's also trying to speak in Gujarati for which I'm forever grateful to MIL. She also speaks a word or two in Hindi - which makes me swell in pride. She's got her genders mixed up. Everyone is a "HE". There are very few people who get the "SHE" and it's randomly assigned. "What he doing?", "Why he crying?"You get the idea.

It's getting tough to distract Gudiya. Often times, I try to distract her, especially when I'm feeding the little one. I'll say, without thinking ," hey come here, I'll show you something". Her reply, " what you got?" Now, here is when my mind is racing to find something worthwhile for her. I'm concoct some story or show her a toy she's already seen before or worse show her something I don't really want to show her. I learnt my lesson with her the hard way. Now I'm more careful. Gudiya has grown. She's a big girl now. A big girl who still wears diapers. I've got to get working on that!

Struggles with nursing

2007-09-25T00:20:00.000-04:00

Okay!
I'm struggling with breast feeding. It wasn't like this with Gudiya. I had plenty of milk from day one. But I couldn't breast feed her since she was in the NICU and the NICU was two floors down from my room. I pumped and husband took it down.

But this time around... it's not the same. I struggled the first 3 days. I'm on a strict diet, courtesy MIL, on veggies that I would never even touch otherwise, drinking dill seed, methi and ajwain water, eating coconut and what not. I've been able to refuse a lot of other ayurvedic stuff that she wants me to take. I am not against these "gharelu nuksas" but I don't want to overdo it. Besides, I don't want my MIL to stress out making all these things.

So anyway, my milk finally came in and the little one is doing all right with it. I'm nursing her simply because it's good for her. I didn't particularly enjoy nursing with Gudiya and I don't now. I managed to nurse Gudiya for 6 months, with the little one, I'm thinking of giving up after two. I hope that I can go on longer than that. I will have to summon a lot of courage and will power to so.

Meanwhile, Gudiya is enjoying watching me feed the baby. The other day, she took her teddy bear and put it under her shirt. When asked what she was doing, her reply, "baby drinking dudu". It was hysterical. Husband and I laughed so hard.

It is getting more difficult to nurse little one in front of Gudiya. I have to keep an arsenal of books and toys to distract her. She loves shaking baby's hands and playing with her fingers. She wants to play "hot cross buns" with her while the little one is nursing. It's extremely painful every time Gudiya pulls at the little one while she's drinking. Sometimes, I turn on the TV on for her so she'll let me feed her in peace.

By the way, I love the DVR system by Cablevision. It lets me record shows and I can store them on this system for as long as I want. I have recorded Barney, Sesame Street, Dora, The Wiggles and The Little Einsteins. I put one episode on for Gudiya when I can't distract her while nursing.

I must've done something good

2007-09-19T17:54:00.000-04:00

My husband got an idiot’s guide to toddler. If he’s getting his cues from that book.. I think all should make that a must read. Jokes aside. Watching him deal with Gudiya in the last two weeks when I was away at the hospital and back home with a newborn is worthy of mention. He has been just great with Gudiya. The more I say about it the less it will be. He has fed her lunch and dinner, bathed her and put her to sleep every night for the last 2 weeks with patience that even surprises me. He’s pitching in not just for Gudiya. He’s doing laundry, dishes and vacuum. By the end of the day he is exhausted but still helps me with the little one at night. I am truly overwhelmed with my husband's care for me and the two kids.

Even with Gudiya’s birth he was a gem. I had a c-section with her. He was with me at the hospital all 5 days, and Gudiya was in the NICU for observation for 5 days. He helped me pump milk each day and took it down to the NICU to feed her. He spent time all his shuttling between me and Gudiya. He bathed me when I could barely lift my feet, even helped me with my clothes and just about everything that needed to be done.

This time around I was determined to do most of this myself since I knew he had to look after Gudiya. I asked my sister to stay with me at the hospital and he at home with Gudiya. I was determined to get on my feet as fast as I could and I could not have done it without my sister's help. My MIL and Gudiya’s nanny have been of great help especially in the kitchen.

Gudiya is coping really well (touchwood). She's having no jealousy issues (yet) and I think it's because my husband was able to focus all his attention to her.

I'm a big believer of karma and I think I must have done something good to deserve such people in my life.

Birth Stories

2007-09-17T09:55:00.001-04:00

So here it is, the story of little one’s birth.

My due is Aug 29th but on the 28th, at 1:30am I feel the bag of waters break. And it is involuntary - trust me on that one! I wait. After 15-20 mins, I wake up husband. He grabs "What To Expect, When You’re Expecting". It says call the doctor and we do. She asks us to come to the hospital. I get ready, have a cup of tea and go to Gudiya's room where she's sleeping soundly and give her a big hug. I have tears in my eyes. We get to the hospital at 3:30am. I am admitted and lying down on the bed in the labor and delivery room now, hooked on to the fetal monitor etc. and my husband is sleeping on a very uncomfortable bench cum bed next to me. But by now the gush has stopped. I’ve been dry since I got to the hospital. I am embarrassed. Doctor says I may have urinated. "Hang on doc", I say, "I haven't lost my ability to control my bodily functions. I know when it’s urine and when it’s not!" But the whole time I was lying on the hospital bed ... there was no trickle. An ultrasound confirms that I have plenty of fluid in the womb. I am red with embarrassment and I start second guessing myself.

We're sent home. Fortunately, an old friend from Bahrain is visiting so I get to spend some more time with her. That was a bonus and kept my mind from the leaking. Yes, by now I’m leaking again…it’s a slow leak but IT IS a leak. It leaks when I move a certain way...like when I get up from the bed or get up from the sofa. Doctors say it could be a small tear that may have fixed itself or the baby may have plugged it or that I just discharge more than others.
Whatever!

Now we wait for Aug 31st -- the date of my scheduled c-section. They don’t want to wait too much past my due date because of a previous c-section. I am a good candidate for VBAC they say, but I have to wait for nature to expel the baby out and nature wasn’t working for me. No activity down under other that this pesky leak. No labor pains, no effacement or dilation. So here we were, at home, waiting for Aug 31st or labor pains.

Along comes 31st, still nothing. Now it’s 40 weeks and 2 days.

On 31st, c-section is scheduled for noon. I had asked for early morning slot. I can't stay hungry for too long. But they gave me noon... which is not too bad. Before leaving, I hug Gudiya and explain to her for the umpteenth time about my hospital visit and about baby sister. She is left in the capable hands of MIL and nanny. We get to the hospital at 11a, hungry and thirsty. I get prepped, get asked a thousand questions, sign away my life, pricked and prodded everywhere and finally wheeled into the OR at 12:15. I’m to be given the spinal. The same I got when I was with Gudiya. My mind goes back to December 2004, the birth of Gudiya. The trip to this same room in 2004 was much more dramatic than this one.

The story of Gudiya's birth

She was 40 weeks and 2 days overdue. I was planning for a normal …but had a scheduled c-section planned for a week after due date. My body is no where near labor.
On Dec 11, 2004, I’m watching TV with husband on one lazy morning after breakfast. I don’t feel the baby move -- haven’t since morning. I call my sister in Delhi, who’s an OBGYN. She asks me to call the doctor right away. I wait for another hour after drinking a whole glass of orange juice despite being diabetic ( had gestational diabetes with Gudiya but not with little one). Still no movement.

Soon after , I start to shiver. I am cold, very cold, Husband puts blankets on me but I'm still shaking. I don’t have labor pains yet. I call the doctor and she asks me to come over to the hospital. It’s a Saturday.. and the traffic to the hospital is a snarl. Where were all these people going on a cold Saturday afternoon? By the time we get there, labor pains have started..very mild but they are there. I get admitted and hooked on to the monitors. I breath a sigh of relief to hear the baby's heartbeat only to find out that the baby is in distress. I have 101 fever. Doctor breaks the bag of waters to induce labor. The labor pains become intense. Doctors ask me if I want an epidural, I refuse. I can still manage the pain. I plan to use the epidural only when it gets unbearable. I want to test my pain threshold. We wait for some sign of active labor. But I am not effaced or dilated so it’s a long wait and watch. The baby’s heart rate is getting faster and the doctor gives a worried look at chart spewing out of the fetal heart monitor. 3 hours pass with no progress. That’s when the doctor suggests a c-section. It takes me and husband 30 seconds to decide since we could sense the tense atmosphere in the room regarding the baby’s heart rate.

I sign away my life while I’m in pain and they wheel me into the OR just 15 mins after our decision. It was an emergency c-section but it was done with minimum melodrama. It was like clockwork and didn’t alarm me or the hubby. It was only later we found out that it was an emergency c-section and the doctors were VERY worried about the baby.

I’m sitting on table in OR with a bare back. The anesthesiologist explains what he’s going to do and what he expects me to do. My doctor hugs me and soon I get the spinal. Trust me, that 30 seconds of pain was the worse pain I have EVER experienced in my life. The burning sensation after they inject the medicine into the spine is the WORST.

I am numb in less than a minute. I become very sleepy right away. It is a relief to feel no pains and I am exhausted. Husband is now by my side and Gudiya was out in 30 mins after that. I saw a glimpse of her . The only thing I remember in my daze is the view of Gudiya's nostrils. I touch her cheek. I have no emotions. She has a pained expression on her face and I am worried since she is to be taken to the NICU. She would spend the next 5 days there because the doctors felt she might have ingested meconium. She was 6lbs, 10 oz and 20 inches long. I was left in the OR where they say I fell asleep.

The Little One

Fast forward to 2007, I’m sitting on the table in the OR with a bare back. As the long needle went into my lower back, it was the same burning sensation that I hated, the same numbness I had before .. the only difference, I did not have labor pains, I was chatty, in a good mood and wanted to know everything that was going around. I see the equipment they were going to use on me. The scales where they would weigh the baby. It suddenly dawned on me that in less than hour, we'll be a family of four. As the drug took effect, I feel pins and needles all over my legs. I feel them clean my tummy. Soon the "purdah" as I call it, went up and I am asking all sorts of questions about the procedure. I think the doctors want me to shut up so they bring husband in. Hubby and I are talking about when we can retire and how much it’s going to cost us to send her to college. Before I knew it, the little one arrived… Husband whipped out his Digital SLR camera that the doctor dubbed "The Paparazzi camera" and was furiously taking pictures of the little one. They bring her over. I see the same nostrils I saw 2years and 8 months ago. I touch her cheek and am surprised by the amount of hair she has. Little one was 7lbs, 7oz and 20 inches long.

This time, husband went to the nursery with the little one and I fell asleep on the table.

Welcome little one

2007-09-05T22:11:00.000-04:00

Now two people own this blog. Yes, I had my second child, a beautiful girl on August 31. She weighed in at 7lbs 7 oz and is 20 inches long. Details about the delivery etc in a later post. Gudiya is thrilled and has welcomed her little sister with open arms.

40 weeks and 2 days

2007-08-31T09:09:00.000-04:00

Looks like today is the day. 40 weeks and 2 days. I have a scheduled C-section today. We waited for labor to set in but since nature is not taking over, the docs don't want to take any more chances for the fear of a scar rupture. I am doing fine and getting ready to go to the hospital. Only person on my mind right now is Gudiya. But I know I have nothing to worry about because her father is there for her. He has been the best father that I could ever imagine.

Just a few more days

2007-08-24T05:39:00.000-04:00

Am having a tough time logging into blogger these days. My laptop won’t let me log in. Oh well.

A lot happened in the past week. I stopped work on Monday Aug 20 … almost 10 days before my due date. It’s been all good so far. My friends at work threw me a surprise baby shower and I am overwhelmed by their generosity. My partner, (the woman I’m sharing the job with), is the one who arranged this event and I can’t thank her enough. So now, for the next few months I’m home. Currently playing the waiting game for her highness (new one) to arrive and later, looking after the two.

Gudiya is on vacation from school. School starts Sept 10th... so we’re home and enjoying every bit of time together. Just realized the other day that this is the only one-on-one time I get with her.

I’m feeling alright and have been keeping busy. I get up in the morning, cook , load and unload the dishwasher, laundry, grocery etc. But I do manage to take long naps in the afternoon with baby. But 7 days to go, it’s getting harder to go up and down the stairs a 100 times a day with Gudiya.

Gudiya was a c-section baby and this time around I really want to try for a VBac and the one and only reason for that is - Gudiya. I want to be able to recover quickly to pick her up and hold her. A new baby is going to be hard transition for her and I don’t want to aggravate the problem by not being able to be her mommy as she knows it. I’m not stubborn about it but I’d like to try. Doc says I am a good candidate for vbac so we shall try. But for that I have to wait till nature takes over and right now, nature is working elsewhere. I am not dilated, not effaced… nothing. I am getting impatient because my whole body is sore. I would like to get over and done with this… bring the baby home and start my routine.

Gudiya on her part has been an excellent baby. She has a doll who she calls baby sister. She puts her to sleep, ties her up in the car seat with seat belts, feeds her milk from a toy bottle. She then shoves the doll under my t-shirt, on to my stomach and says, "baby sister is here". It is adorable. Sometimes, she’ll pull up my t-shirt and kiss my swollen stomach. I hope she continues on with this affection even after the baby is home.

To buy or not to buy

2007-08-17T10:38:00.000-04:00

We gave up our BMW SUV for a ... hold your breath .... a minivan! A matronly looking monster of a thing. Husband who is a car freak is still reeling. We had to because we need a 7 seater. We'll soon be 6 people in the house and that beamer barely fits 5. I will admit, a beamer is always a beamer but have been driving the minivan lately and it's awesome. Smooth ride, fits the entire house- diaper bag, stroller, baby(s) and lots of other things and still leaves a lot of leg room. I could sleep in that thing. I could live in that thing and still spend less money on gas and insurance.

We went through 9 months of debate on whether we should buy a minivan or not. Both of us had image issues to deal with. Driving a minivan felt old. Driving a minivan felt like were were no longer hip. So we decided we were going to get a 7 passenger SUV. But have you seen the SUV's lately? They resemble monster trucks and yet they don't have the same leg room or storage as a minivan. Have you had your mother-in-law climb over into the 3rd row of an SUV? Good luck with that! People making minivans know what they're doing and people looking for a minivan will reluctantly agree that it is the BEST family car out there.

We reluctantly bought the Toyota Sienna on my birthday this year. It was a bitter sweet moment. Felt like we suddenly grew very old. It's been 3 weeks since we got it and we've been falling in love with it. Of course, husband drives the other car and this one will be mine but honestly I don't mind anymore.

Oh and did I tell you, the mileage is awesome and I don't have to fill premium gas.

Gudiya loves the car. She calls it "my car" and "my car seat". She loves the power doors and shuts the doors herself before climbing into her seat.

As for me, I'm sold ..Husband is reluctantly agreeing that this may be the best decision we made.

So long BMW and welcome minivan.

Note to the Bavarian Motor company --- there is a market out there for BMW minivans, in case you're interested.

Childhood memories

2007-08-06T13:17:00.001-04:00

Just recently watched a movie that I had seen several times, years ago, but hadn't seen it since I became a mother.

The movie, Cinema Paradiso - a classic Italian film by Giuseppe Tornatore . One of my all time favorite films EVER!

Told in flashback and it's a story of a very famous film director Salvatore who comes back to his home town after 30 years for the funeral of his old friend Alfredo - who was the projectionist at the local cinema theater, Cinema Paradiso. Alfredo becomes Toto's father figure and wants him to succeed at all costs.

It starts with when Toto is a child, about 10 years old and an alter boy in this very catholic town in Italy during the WW-2 . His dad eventually dies in war . It's a very nostalgic film and watching Toto's childhood reminded me of my carefree childhood and people I came across.

So many have touched my life but none so much as a few that I'd like to mention... they are the unsung heroes of my life besides my parents and my 3 wonderful sisters and a loving extended family.

Ramasre -- Every weekend, our house would be run over by "bhaiyajis". These were men who just showed up at our doorstep, some looking for work and some for food. But this man of few means, just showed up at my parents doorstep and insisted on working in spite of my parents telling him they couldn't afford him. My mother gave him food and he stayed until my dad got him a job at the company he worked in. He came over every weekend and hung out with us and insisted on doing yard work, grocery, minor repairs in the house etc. He refused money but didn't say no to food. He became part of the family and accompanied me to trips to the circus or the zoo and the famed Kamati baugh (those from Baroda will know). He took me to buy fire crackers for Diwali and kites for Uttrayan.I distinctly remember sitting behind on his bicycle to all these places almost every weekend. He also accompanied us to many road trips we took all over India. He worked at the company my dad worked in till his death.

Baburao-- He drove my dad to work when I was very little in New Delhi , maybe as old as Gudiya is now. My mom says, he'd come over early in the morning and take me for a ride in the car while my dad got ready for office. We moved to Baroda when I was 4. But every time we visited Delhi, my parents would call him over to see us. I have no memories of the car rides but I bet they were fun.

Gangabai -- She was an old lady, hired help who washed our clothes and vessels, mopped the floors etc. Everyday after school, I would help her out by rinsing out the clothes, washing dishes in the chowk ... partly because I loved playing in water and partly because I felt really bad for her. I did it every single day without fail. And my parents let me do it. She worked with us for a while until she passed away.

Neeru -- She was probably 17 years old when I was 10 or 12. She was a hired help who I loved having around. She not only helped my mom with cleaning, she also played with me. We climbed the mango tree in our yard after mom went to sleep. Would devour raw mangoes, guavas and amlas and hear a scolding from mom the next day. I also taught her ABCs and 123s. She eventually ran away with her lover.

Daddy -- was our neighbor. He, from all accounts in our colony, was a very rude and an arrogant person . Picked a lot of fights with people and didn't have many friends in the neighborhood. He got along fine with our family. I was 4 or 5 when I met him. I called him daddy and I'm not sure why. He was retired and spend quite a lot of time talking to me. And of course there was candy too :-). He passed away of a heart failure.

I also had a wonderful set of friends.

Kalyani -- My oldest and dearest friend who passed away in a motor-vehicle accident while in college.

Viraj -- Who settled in the States when we were very young. I've been able to trace her but haven't gathered the courage to call her.

Ketan, Meghal, Faranaaz - My childhood was blessed by all of you at 36, Arun Bunglow. I cannot forget that place.

Mona, Niyati , Sridhar, Indu, Aditi and the gang all shared wonderful memories with me.

My cousins, Shilpa, Shikha, Mili : Shilpa taught me how to ride a bike and I'm forever grateful for that.

Rochana, Gopa, Samira for being wonderful friends at school. The brainiacs who didn't mind hanging out with me :-)

I hope Gudiya is inspired by people she encounters in her life...just as the above-mentioned people and many others who have made me what I am today.

You've got to see Paradiso if you haven't seen it.

The very first concert

2007-07-30T10:20:00.000-04:00

Gudiya went to her very first concert. It was "The Wiggles" concert and the proud and very pregnant mama took her to watch it.

She had a blast and mommy had a blast watching her.
She danced in the aisle.
She didn't speak a word through the entire concert.
She didn't care about popcorn/ juice/ water/ cotton candy.
All she cared about were "The Wiggles."
It was a fun day for her and the weekend full of stories she had to tell to her daddy, who stayed at home prepping up her little sister's room.

I really don't know how much she will remember about the show but I do know that I will never forget it. It gave ME more pleasure watching her watch the show.

Potty stories

2007-07-30T09:00:00.000-04:00

Our efforts to get her to pee in the bathroom are getting us nowhere. But she likes to do her potty alone and when no one is watching -- in her diaper though. So when you attempt to speak to her when she's going , you'll be told, "no, no, no -- go away".
So here she was, rummaging through the snack cabinet. It was deathly still. There was no noise. Which is when one starts to worry. So I hauled myself to the cabinet for a peek. Startled, she says, "no, no, no, go away". I asked her what she was doing? To that she says," Go away, you do your work, go make tea for Ba". I slinked away laughing.

Talking of potty...

Yesterday, I lost my patience and shouted at Gudiya -- who by the way, in my opinion is a very mild mannered child. I was changing her poppy diaper and she was being difficult. I was worried about ... well the mess I'd have to clean up in case .... you get the idea!
So I yelled at her to keep still.
She immediately became still and stopped smiling and became very serious. I felt guilty for yelling at her and I calmed down right away and changed my tone immediately.
With a fresh diaper everything done... I went down to her level and said sorry.
She hugged me and said " Mommy, are you ok", patting my hair, said "don't cry mommy, don't be sad"
I wasn't crying but I could have for the guilt of yelling at her was too much bear.

I could kiss the ground he walks on

2007-07-06T14:46:00.000-04:00

It's decision time in our household.

It's been nerve racking because my husband had to make a decision whether or not to accept a new job and move cross country to California.

If he takes it, it would mean the family moving to Sacramento, CA, where we know no one. It would also mean that I would have to quit my job I love. I work for a great company that lets me work part-time. I have full benefits, 401K, pension and the works. Such jobs are hard to come by in our industry. Besides I've been told there are not many opportunities for me in Sac'to in my field. It would also mean I would have to spend at least 4-5 months with two kids without husband. I have to have the new baby here in NJ, can't go looking for doctor in CA a month before my due date.

If he takes it, the plan would involve him working 15 days a month in CA and the rest of the days commuting 2 hours to the company's HQ here. We would have the baby in NJ and after 3-4 months, I would move with him to CA with two babies.

If he doesn't take it he would lose a good opportunity and of course more money.

He asked me what he should do. I told him in all honesty that I am willing to quit my job and move with him. Honestly, I was ready to do it although I was not entirely happy about moving to a place where I know no one at all. But I told him that he's got to be sure of what he's doing. He needs to ask himself questions such as, is this the job he's been waiting for? Is this a job that will see his career soar? Is this the place he'd like his kids to grow up? (he has visited the area) Would he regret it if he didn't take it? The answers to all those questions will help him make his decisions.

Needless to say, it was a difficult one. A very difficult balancing act between career and family. For once, I was glad I didn't have to make that decision. It was my husband's turn to make work-life decisions.

He decided not to take it! I was a bit surprised although I had a hunch he would refuse it because he had been hinting that for a while.

I was sad for him.

I asked him what was the main reason for refusing the opportunity.
He said it was Gudiya!
He didn't want to miss the way Gudiya greets him every evening when he returns from work.
Didn't want to miss out on all the new things she says each day.
Didn't want to miss her little stories that she tells him
And the dance she does for him
He said he doesn't want to miss any of this , even for 5 months.

He doesn't want to miss the birth of his second child.
He doesn't want to be away from me when I need him the most.
He doesn't want me to ruin my career for his.

I kiss the ground my husband walks on ... that's all I can say.

Song, dance and stories to tell

2007-06-25T13:57:00.000-04:00

Songs
Her version of Eeny, meeny, miny, moe is
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Catch the eagle by his nose
If he cries let him go,
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Some of her songs are not so clear. Sometimes I recognize the songs by the tune.
Among the Hindi songs, she loves Rock and Roll Soniye-- She calls it "Rock-a- Soniye". And of course Jhalak Diklaja. One car trips, we put these two songs on repeat. She must've heard the songs a hundred times but she's not bored.

Dance
As mentioned before, she loves dancing. Each evening, she will pull her daddy "up-a-stairs" to put on the "sari" ( chania choli) for her. The she says "put music". If it's fast music, she's jump around with turns and twists. When it's soft music, she does a slow dance with daddy. It has to be daddy, no mommy allowed in slow dances.

Story telling
She also told daddy a story recently.
It goes like this
"Once upon a time there was a princess and a dog"
(then it's barely audible because she whispers something)
"The end"
"Daddy, do you like princess and dog story?"
Are you wondering what daddy has to say?

Girl and Boy
Lately, she's seems to be getting the concept of a girl and boy. She points to daddy and says, "daddy- boy, mommy- girl, gudiya- girl and then to my stomach, little sister- girl."

Last day of School - June 19th, 07

2007-06-25T08:30:00.000-04:00

It was the last day of school and the only thing I was feeling guilty about it that I will spend only 4 days out of 7 with her. ( I work 3 days a week)

There was also something else that I'm feeling terrible about and that is that I won't be able to take her out to beaches, zoos and parks this summer as often as I would like to because of the pregnancy.

Another regret, I will have another baby soon and won't be able to pay attention to my dearest Gudiya. That thought has been nagging me for a while. Every time I lay her down to sleep and look at her sleeping face, a pang of guilt passes my heart and I wonder if I'll be able to give her as much attention as I used to. She will be going to school all 5 days in September, when schools open. ( Currently she goes 3 days a week) Will I miss out on her if I'm too busy with the little one? Will she know that my attention is divided? Will she feel bad that I can't play with her? Will she cry if I don't sleep with her? While she loves school, I feel like I'm sending her to pre-school full time because of the new baby.

For now, I'm just glad I can spend at least 4 full days a week with her at home. I'm trying my best to keep her busy and occupied with different things when I'm at home. I assembled her tricycle and a water play toy. The trike was a tough one to put together because it had a millions screws and needed a wrench and much tightening to put it all together. The toy was a much easier assemble.

Gudiya LOVED the water toy. She played with it for a whole hour, without a single whimper. All she did was pour the water over and over and over again... on herself, into the toy and just about everywhere. The trike was too a smash hit. We also saw a beautiful well-formed rainbow in the sky and it was such a pleasure to see Gudiya's face when she recognized it and said," mommy, look at that, is a rainbow, red and purple and yellow."

Yesterday, we went for a picnic. The sun was hot but Gudiya was oblivious to that. I was ready to pass out at the swing set in the park-- pushing her for almost 45 mins on the swing in the heat. Finally husband came to the rescue. He was with her for almost an hour on the swings. JEEZ! She just didn't want to get off the swings. Fortunately there were not many kids around. I just hope she gets the swings out of her system. I'm just sick at the sight of a swing now.

Next week, I'm planning a trip to the library, and perhaps the Zoo and maybe the beach if I have the energy.

Summer Activities: Riding her car sideways, and blowing bubbles in the air

Painting in the garage

Poor me!?

2007-06-18T07:24:00.000-04:00

I'm not a complainer or at least I think I'm not . But lately, I have to bite my tongue every time I want to say, "Oh, my back hurts" or "I can't sleep at night, am not able to find a comfortable position" etc. I attribute my good health to a good set of genes.

No one in my family falls sick and even if they do, no one will know because no one talks about it. But all of us know not to ignore a serious health problem. For instance, some 10 years ago, my mom knew she was having a heart attack when she had a shooting pain in her left arm. She stopped cooking and immediately told my dad to take her to the doctor. This from someone who had no history of heart problems.

Last two weeks we have had a bunch of guests from India. While I love having people in the house, its been really hard these days because
a) I'm 30 weeks pregnant
b) I have an active toddler at home
c) sorry for whining, but my body hurts and my feet are swollen
and the hot summer is not helping. The endless shopping trips with guests are killing me.

I want to have the physical stamina and endurance my mom has. Apparently, when my older sister was an infant, my mom fell and hurt her back. Ever since that she has suffered from sciatica. She tells me on bad days she would lay down on the bed, on her stomach and cook because the pain was unbearable when she was standing. I have never seen my mom cry. She has never sulked or shirked away from her responsibilities. She never made excuses for not working . I'm trying hard to be like her but I think I have already finished my quota of complaints :-).

An while I'm talking about my mother, I want to give a shout out to my daddy dearest for Fathers day. I love my dad to death and I am everything because of him and my mother. He has been on my side through thick and thin. I remember the time when I had a particularly bad result in school. He and my mother NEVER once told me, "I told you so, you should have studied". They NEVER made me feel guilty about what happened. In fact, he sat down and discussed the future plans and continued encouraging me to find my career. He could have told me to get married and that would have been the end of it but he didn't. And I suspect it's because he had confidence in me and my abilities to make it in the professional world. I would say, I have done fairly well in my career and I'm certainly proud of what I have achieved and that is thanks to my parents, especially my dad.

After I finished my bachelors, I was lost in terms of my career prospects. My father insisted I get a Masters degree. He arranged meetings with academicians, teachers, professional in various fields simply so that I could be inspired by someone to pursue a degree I would enjoy. He told me in no uncertain terms that Masters has to happen, no matter what. And I am so thankful to him for that.

I married at age 30 ... and it was because I just wasn't ready to be hitched. While my mom was pulling her hair out wondering what was wrong with me, my dad never once forced me to get married. Had he, even once, told me forcefully, angrily that I should get married, I probably would have. But I'm thankful that he respected my decision to choose my time to be married. I'm so much more happier now.

My parents were never consumed with the marriage of the 4 girls. A lot of people felt sorry for them for having 4 girls. The only thing I remember they were consumed with was our education.

There are so many things I admire about daddy dearest and mommy and there are so many stories to tell that I can only think of peppering future posts with them. I can't possibly put everything in this one.

I do hope to pass on some of the good things my parents taught me to Gudiya and the little one. I hope that one day the children will grow up to read this post and learn about their wonderful Nana and Nani.

Engagement party

2007-06-06T11:25:00.000-04:00

The thing my husband hates about me is # 9. By my own admission, I am a procrastinator and a big one at that. He leaves lists for me to do because I forget my own chores. I am never on time for anything including work and I would be even worse if he weren't around to push me. He puts the alarm for 5am so that HE can wake me up to go to work ... enough said!
On to the next topic.

My dear niece got engaged last weekend. She was the only girl in the family on my side before Gudiya. I can't believe how big she has grown. My nephew, the first born on my side got married 2 years ago. I remember I had a shock of my life when I heard he was getting married. I was 10 when my nephew was born. He was like a doll to me and I always considered him to be my baby. Same thing with my niece. So to see them getting into the next stages of life is a rude shock about my own age. I still think of myself to be young in spite of Gudiya and the other one on the way. Oh well. Some things are never the same.

The engagement party was a blast. Gudiya was dressed in all her traditional finery. A little black Chania Choli with a LOT of bangles. I was too busy talking to people and relatives to notice what she was doing or who she was with. But she was in the 'godi' of a different person every time I looked around for her. She was a model child. No crying, no tantrums and no fuss. We did however find a toy at my sister's place that she played with for almost an hour and could have played for longer if we had stayed there. It was a collectible, coin sorter, with a little train that moved every time you inserted a coin. My brother in law owns it and I suspect is quite an expensive contraption. But then he was busy with the party so ..... Shhh!

My niece looked very happy and I am very happy for her to have found her soul mate. But I am getting ready and armed to pick a huge fight with her starting right here on the blog.

I respect her idealism of being natural and her resistance to overdressing and putting on too much makeup. I was like that at one point in my life. But I want to emphasize that applying paint ONCE IN A WHILE and specially on specials occasions such as her own engagement is not a bad idea. She had NO lipstick on ... just a colorless gloss. I was ready to get into a fist fight with her right then and there but the arrival of her fiance and his family saved her. So I quietly retreated back on my side. Next time -- I'm going to win this battle.

Party girl

2007-06-01T13:20:00.000-04:00

Am convinced that Gudiya loves to dance. At the sangeet ceremony in DC, she was fascinated by the song and dance performances although all of us were ready to scream. The quality of the show was ...well... 'nuff said. But for Gudiya, it was all good. She took the best seat in the hall, right in the front row, with a relative who she doesn't know that well. Sat in her lap for the whole time, did not utter a word and didn't ask for me or daddy.

Then some tiny tots took the stage. Three boys ages 4 to 7. They were jumping up and down to 'Koi kahe, kehata rahe" from Dil Chahta hai while their parents tried in vain to turn their focus on the rehearsed steps. Down comes gudiya from the relative's lap and tries to climb up on the raised stage. The stunned husband --who had an eagle eye on her the whole time helped her up. She took the floor and imitated the toddlers to her best of ability. The audience started clapping and laughing. The proud parents were beaming with joy!!! I was so busy taking pictures that I don't remember any of her moves. Darn!

I tell ya, she is a big party girl... Is able to stay awake WAYYYYY past her bedtime for song and dance. Even if the quality is ok.

Sorry am not able to post pics - my laptop doesn't let me log onto blogger and all my photos are on the laptop. Too lazy to transfer some on the family comp. Will get on with it soon. Promise

The game of tag

2007-05-25T13:15:00.000-04:00

I was tagged by Kiran who was tagged by Mad Momma so here it is...
10 things you don't know about me and one of these things my husband finds very annoying. Guess which one.

1. Don't know all the blog lingo. Didn't know what tagged meant until I looked it up.
2. I didn't like kids until I had Gudiya. Never thought I would have kids of my own.
3. My best friend is my husband
4. I don't like shopping
5. I love watching Food Network
6. I'm a horrible cook
7. I rarely use public rest rooms, even in the office
8. I never watch movies because they make me cry and give me a bad headaches
9. I'm a procrastinator

I regularly check on

thirtysix and counting
Baby & Mom Blog
Mama says so
Something to say
Gratis gab
Neurotic Iraqi wife
and many more...